More Maps . . . for our Children

Poor Miss Teen USA 2007 from South Carolina! I'm sure she would have done well if her question was easier, no? The following is a very, very difficult question:

Recent polls have shown that a fifth of Americans can't locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?

In my opinion, adequate answers might include:

1. Are you kidding me? 20% of the population? Well, you have me stumped on that one, Jack. I keep hearing comedians say that Americans are stupid but this is the clincher for me. Ahhhhhhhhh. NOW I understand how Bush is still in office!
2. Well, I personally think this is because the pollsters continue to hire uneducated people who cannot coherently articulate the simplest of phrases. Have you heard these guys lately? My guess is that, if they can barely read a basic sentence from a script that they have read aloud countless times already, they are probably just as unskilled at clicking the correct box on their computer screens. In other words, I simply refuse to believe that so many American's can't find our country on a world map.
   
3. The reason many Americans cannot find our country on a world map is because there is mass confusion regarding where America begins and ends these days. Is the UK part of America or do they just do everything we ask of them because they're polite? More importantly, do we now "own" Iraq or is that just a Dick Cheney pipe dream? And come on already. With Puerto Rico, Guam, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and other mariana-esque islands masking as U.S. territories or commonwealths, how can you blame people for their ignorance? Cut us some slack, freak show.
   

Sadly, this is what our young beauty had to say: our education system needs more maps.

Or, in her less concise words, "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some . . . people out there in our nation don't have maps, and, uh, I believe that our eh-education, like such as, uh, South Africa and the Iraq, everywhere like . . . such as . . . And I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should, help the U.S., uh, or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future. For . . . our children."