Love and Other Things

Over the weekend, I discovered that:

1. A single martini feels much stronger when you subsequently have to navigate an airport. But cocktails with girlfriends trump more rational decisions any day.
2. JetBlue still doesn't have its act together. Their computer system somehow assigned more than one person per seat on our 10:40 p.m. flight to the ROC so they gave up and shouted to the boarding passengers "ignore your seat assignment and just grab the first seat that's open." Unable to bear the thought of a night in Queens, lil' ole alcohol-bolstered me forged ahead taking no prisoners. To quote Ted Nugent, it was a free-for-all. And I won. (Clasped hands raised in trophy pose.)
3. Playgrounds are very, very slippery when covered with snow. Dangerous yet heaps o' fun. Note to my vast readership of playground equipment developers: you should conduct in situ research during winter conditions to avoid lawsuits. Seriously. Even the wood chips underfoot were frozen. 
4. Snow covered slides will launch you (or in this case, me) into the air like a human cannonball.
5. Landing on your back is more palatable when dressed like Nanook of the North.
6. Lastly, ten year old boys have girlfriends. And they kiss. And use the word "love." They also share these details openly with their friend's mom (i.e., me) over hot soup. 

Mini-weekend: Day 20

Gray skies. Dreary.

Perfect day to clean up a bit. Catch up on other people's blogs. And take Son #1 to his acupuncturist who I now love. He's not the same person I go to but he's really friendly and wonderful with kids. He has stuffed animals in the kids' treatment room and a great Chinese painting of a smiling dragon hanging on the wall -- which is perfect because both Son #1 and I were born in dragon years (i.e., 2000 and 1964). Most importantly, Son #1 enjoys the experience as much as I do.

After the needles are in and he's about to leave the room, the doc says, "Let me know if you start picking up alien signals or radio stations. Especially if it's a station you don't like." It's all very lighthearted and easy going. I just hope that, with time, the Tourette's diminishes. The thought of my gentle-souled little boy going through life with such an audible and visible affliction is enough to make me cry. His hoots, beeps, whistles, coughs, hacks, hand-swipes, blinking and facial grimaces are severe. Thankfully Son #1's pediatrician has given him a referral to the neuromedicine center at the URMC. We go next month.

Until then, we're giving him chamomile drops along with neck and stomach rubs. And offering heaps and heaps of prayers.

Mini-weekend: Day 18

Spent Tuesday afternoon with my neighborhood girlfriends and all of our kids on the Sam Patch. Son #1 was beside himself with anger.

Son #1: I don't like to learn during the summer. I never wanted to go on this boat. What part of this remotely sounded like fun to you?

Me: We're outside, in the sunshine, with friends. That's fun to me. And we're experiencing the canal firsthand, rising up and down as they fill and drain the locks. It's cool to see from the water instead of the shore.

Son #1 was not convinced and spent the entire ride inside looking out the window.

Yesterday was spent in a wave of appointments including taking Son #1 to the acupuncturist to treat his Tourette's. When home, the vinyl siding dudes were pounding on the house. No respite. I felt like I needed a vacation from my vacation.

In the car on the way to my hair appointment, I heard the latest Cracker song that they performed while here a few weeks back. As I planned my escape, it suddenly became my new favorite song.

"Baby you need a break so lets just run away."

Cracker - Turn On Tune In Drop Out
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - Explore more music videos.

Mini-free for all

Sunny. High of 77. Perfect day to sit inside the office and write a full-day workshop on Mastering the Complex Sale.

The stakes are high and so am I . . .

Mini-weekend: Day 16

"I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well." --Diane Ackerman

Found that quote in the book Positivity that I read this afternoon while soaking up the sun in my hammock. I agree -- I want to live larger than ever before. Days like today make life worth living. It wasn't all fun and hammock. I even cleaned my room, chatted on the phone and did a few loads of wash. I could break out into some Karen Carpenter right about now. Relaxation + freshly laundered clothes = top of the world. (Doesn't take much, really.)

I also started the book Happy for No Reason which is less scientific than Positivity and has ties to The Secret so I'm prematurely thinking it may be more hogwash than substantive but what the hey? It appears to have more stories and that always bodes well for holding my interest at the very least. And one of the first chapters is called, "Practicing Happiness." As a six month practitioner of the mini-weekend, I'm loving the self-affirmation.

Now to incorporate all the positivity into my 13-hour work days. D'oh! First off: stop complaining!

Yours truly, Pollyanna Pittsford

Mini-weekend: Day 15

With the exception of finishing up some member satisfaction research for one client and taking part in a conference call with another to discuss future reporting requirements across eight separate databases (yeah, my sweet spot -- not!), yesterday was another mini-weekend.

Had an early morning massage. Went to Sticky Lips with my bible study girlfriends. Played kickball with Son #2. And signed the paperwork on new windows and siding. Now my new furnace won't be lonely. Who needs beautiful clothes, trips to Europe and botox when you can instead invest those same $ in premium vinyl siding?

Alas, today's Knowledge @ Wharton contains an article aptly entitled, So You Think Owning a Home Will Make You Happy? Don't Be Too Sure. Yep, we're living the dream!

Mini-washout: haikus

mini-weekend thwart
heaps of data analyzed
workday almost done

eighty-eight worksheets
performance v. importance
gap analysis

revenue decline
profitability down
op costs sloping up

count if cell not blank
vlookup tables galore
i've become a bore

Mini-weekend: Day 14

Sunshine. High in the mid-80s. What's not to like?

Instead of accomplishing anything constructive today, I took the opportunity to read the book play written by Stuart Brown, M.D. For someone seeking greater happiness in life, I'm a big proponent of elevating the status of play in our culture.

From a "play personality" perspective, I clearly belong in the "explorer" category. Not only do I love to travel, even if it's just shuttling the kids to D.C. for the weekend, I also enjoy seeking new perspectives in myself. This possibly explains why my bible study is so important to me, why I'm such an avid reader and why, stress levels aside, I enjoy the variety and constant learning found in management consulting. It also explains why I'm willing to engage in many of the activities my kids ask me to do. Normally, I wouldn't be the first to sign up for ice skating . . .

So how can I proactively bring more play into my daily life? I need to pay attention to the times when I'm so lost in an activity that I lose track of time -- and then I need to actively seek more of those activities. Writing, swimming, painting, dancing, reading, hanging with the family and going out with girlfriends. Upon brief reflection, however, I think I'm doing a pretty good job of play already!

No wonder my house is such a mess.

When the working day is done
Oh girls they wanna have fun
Oh girls just wanna have fun!

Mini-Weekend: Day 13

Thirteen! Never thought it would get this far. And it's May 13: my sister's birthday. Happy Birthday Susie!

Today I went to the dentist, swam, did a bit o' yoga in the steam room, relaxed in the sauna, got my haircut, read in the hammock and (yes!) bought el cheapo glasses and sunglasses at BJ's Wholesale after realizing that I was about to drop more money on worthless pseudo-fashion than I would spend on a week in Europe.

I'm driving to the airport right now.

Mini-weekend: Day 12

Celebrated Son #1's ninth birthday yesterday which he entitled "BBE" for best birthday ever! Legos (exactly what he wanted), gift cards, cash, yellow balloons, a Dragon Fable Dragon Amulet and an EyeClops BioniCam make for a BBE, for sure.

I also went to Son #2's classroom where the kids sang songs and read stories to all of the moms for Mother's Day. I hung out with the only other two moms that I know from that class. One is a virologist and graduate school professor who had to reschedule her 2:00 p.m. class. The other is an OB/GYN who had to reschedule all of her patients that afternoon. It was so stinkin' cute that it's worth it. Some other mom blew into the classroom over 15 minutes late and timed perfectly to interrupt her son's story. Instead of quietly taking a seat, she stopped him midsentence and loudly proclaimed "Hi honey, I'm here" to which he quietly responded, "You're really late." She then began to laugh and tell him to carry on as if she had blessed him (and all of us) with her almighty presence. I can understand the tardiness; God only knows what happened. The shameless manner in which she descended upon us, however, was somewhat loathsome.

My favorite part was the faux People magazine cover where my picture was drawn, colored (yes, I have a large beak) and labeled as "Most Beautiful Mom of 2009" and Son #2's story inside talks about how I love to garden. Garden! If I didn't see the abysmal state of our "garden," I might think that the kids had another mom on the side. A more farm fresh version of myself. Maybe one who wears an apron and prepares organic meals. Now that would be beautiful!

Mini-weekend: Foiled

I went to a quick 8:00 a.m. meeting on the other side of the city yesterday. On my day off.



It didn't end until after four. No food. No water. No break. No mini-weekend.

Last night, we went to the elementary school ice cream social. In the parking lot on the way home, Son #1 let out the worst gas ever known to mankind. Even with all the windows open, I thought I was going to die.

Son #1: Now I'm glad Jack didn't come home with us. But doesn't it smell like Toaster Strudel?

Hubby: Not like any Toaster Strudel I've ever smelled.

Son #1: Well, that's what happens if I eat Toaster Strudel or white powdered donuts. The other day, I let a whole series of these go during class. And today I popped off a big one during lunch.

Can life get any better than this? I guess that's what happens when you can't blame the dog.

On a related note: are little girls like this?

Mini-weekend: Day 11

It's cold and windy today yet this weekend is supposed to be 80+ degrees and sunny. I hear the hammock calling my name!

While on the topic of bizarre fluctuations, I ran across this little tidbit below as I was doing a bit o' research yesterday on the NYS Economic Development budget. One of the "major initiatives" that NYS is planning to close the budget gap is to reduce tourism and marketing funding.

Funding for tourism and marketing programs, including “I Love New York” Tourism, Local Tourism Matching Grants, International Trade, Explore New York and Business Marketing will be reduced or eliminated. Even after these actions, $17 million will be available to support various tourism and marketing programs, such as “I Love NY” Tourism Advertising, Local Tourism Matching Grants and International Trade.

So let me get this straight: we're cutting funding for tourism programs like "I Love NY" in order to ensure that money is available for tourism programs like "I Love NY"? Is there such a thing as peek-a-boo funding? Now you see it/now you don't?

I Love NY. I Love NY not. I Love NY. I Love NY not. I Love NY. I Love NY not. I Love NY. I Love NY not. I Love NY. I Love NY not. I Love NY.

In related news: Virginia is still for losers. It's so embarrassing to have a typo in your slogan, no?

Mini-weekend: Day 10

Wow, ten weeks and going . . . well, strong might not be the right word. But going nonetheless.

Today, I spent over two hours at the Elizabeth Wende Breast Clinic. I have to say, if you need to spend so much time in a lounge awaiting test results from a fairly painful squish-your-boobs-into-pancakes set of exams, this is the place to do so. Nice, white cotton robes. Fireplace. O Magazine. Big tank of tropical fish. Hot teas. Back massages. If I didn't know any better, it would have felt like a few hours at the spa.

I followed it up with a trip to my chiropracter -- who I love, love, love. He's a professional miracle worker and also very interesting, motivational, spiritual, compassionate, funny, intellectual, musical, etc. One time, I was walking out and I said to his wife Dawn, who was working the front desk, "I love your husband." She replied, "Yeah, you and about a million others. Get in line!" We both cracked up.

Today, in the waiting room, a business man walked in who was worried about missing his flight. I offered to switch appointments with him since I was in no hurry as it was my day off. He gratefully accepted, asked where I worked and (of course) knew my boss. Small world. Small town. Small favor. Hope he made it to the airport on time.

Lastly, I had the pleasure of meeting with a furnace sales rep. I didn't realize how much I needed a new furnace. Now my wardrobe is complete. What's another $3K in this money pit? When I went to sit with my new friend Alan at Chase, he shared horror stories with me of clients who have $100K in credit card debt. I rarely take pleasure in others' misfortunes but it did help me to put my situation in better light. New furnace, new front porch, new siding, new windows, new countertops: not optimal but at least it's not being spent on crack whores.

We'll have to win the lottery to afford that kind of luxury.

Mini-weekend: Day 9

Last night, during the evening of my latest mini-weekend, I went to a Passover Seder at my girlfriend's church. In preparation for Easter, it was a tangible remembrance of Jesus' last supper and a beautiful tie to Judaism.

I feel this way at my mom's Catholic church -- especially during candlelit penance services -- there's something so powerful and moving about taking part in a God-given ritual that has been observed for millennia. At times, especially during traditional hymns, I feel a strong connection with ancient peoples as if the time/space continuum all but disappeared. At a seder, this is compounded when listening to Hebrew both spoken and in song. It's like poetry to my ears.

But my new favorite word is "dayenu" which is loosely translated as "it would have been enough for us" or "it would have been sufficient."

I drove home last night thinking:
Had He simply loved me but allowed me to live in poverty, dayenu
Had He raised me in a comfortable, loving home but given me no talents, dayenu
Had He given me talents but no outlet, dayenu
Had He given me a menial job with no prospects, dayenu
Had He given me a challenging yet rewarding job but no friendships, dayenu
Had He given me heaps o' friends but no husband and children, dayenu
Had He given me an awesome family but terrible health, dayenu
Had He given me perfect health but no retirement funds, dayenu

I could go on and on. It's such a great reminder, especially when down in the dumps, that I have been blessed beyond measure. And, even if I feel some times like I'm a slave in Egypt, it's also nice to remember that God is a redeemer. Yet, instead of wandering through the desert for 40 years, I have to learn to trust Him.

The Yin and Yang of the Weekend

Somehow missed posting on mini-weekend day 7 (last Friday) which turned into a long weekend, instead. Nice! Gotta stay flexible for my boss and clients.

The long weekend ranged from calling hours to church, from biking to watching movies (Taking Chance with Kevin Bacon -- very moving), from hosting sleepovers to jumping on the neighbors' trampoline, from cleaning to getting my colors analyzed, from relaxing over delicious sushi with the kids at the Plum Garden to coercing them to finally take a friggin' shower. Engulfed in sadness at times. Bouncing as high as possible, and laughing my head off, mere hours later.

On the color front: I'm a dark autumn. Rich, deep colors. I can wear silver and gold. Together. And, unlike my "true summer" mom and sis, I can wear black. (Sorry Mommy Cash!) But, I cannot wear white or off-white. So I went through my closet, compared all of my clothes against my new color palette and put aside the clothes that reportedly are not best for me. This includes two lilac sweaters that I always get compliments on. So, do people simply like the color (and would make flattering remarks regardless of who is wearing it)? Or am I in black so much that they're just reacting to the fact that I'm wearing any color? Or is that a good color but a different shade would be even better? Or is the color consultant simply wrong? Only time, governed by a million and one new "Darling you look divine," comments will tell.

On the church front: I didn't realize the impact of taking my kids to a non-Catholic church all these years would have. As Grannie's car was being fixed due to a parking lot hit-and-run (which, by the by, happens to her gorgeous Lexus and not my rusty, 10-year-old Jetta: unfair), the kids and I decided to take her to her church instead of ours.

First question, asked loudly by Son #1 upon walking in, "What's that?" to which I responded, "Holy water." That was followed by a slew of related questions. I'm sure the devout Catholics around us were assuming we're the great unwashed. Next, while seated in the pew, "When are those bells going to stop? They're annoying me." That just happens to be one of my favorite sounds ever!

One kid was chewing gum. Neither would arise for the Catholic aerobics throughout the ceremony. I was continually peppered with "Is this almost over?" questions. I got two, rapid head jerks in my direction when the priest said, "ass" and I had to remind them that it also meant "donkey." One refused to take his arms out of his sleeves during the hand-holding, singing rendition of the Lord's Prayer. Both looked extremely perplexed during the Kiss of Peace. And, finally, one was dying for the bathroom but didn't know where it was -- so we ended up spawning against the tide during communion.

At the end, I asked, "So what did you think of Grannie's church?" and received the following reply, "Well, I wasn't listening but the stained glass windows are cool." Yes, they are.

Amen.

Mini-weekend: Day 6

So much to do and not doing any of it -- thereby defeating the purpose of the mini-weekend?

Thankfully, I did go to my acupuncturist today. It's so relaxing, I could spend a week there. A few sessions ago she basically stated that my body was lacking energy across all vital functions. To quote Aerosmith, my get-up-and-go must have got up and went. Today, I was full of life again. Nothing like a great vacation and a mid-week day off to provide joie de vivre.

For lunch: Juan and Maria's Empanada Stop. I love a good hole-in-the-wall with freshly made comfort food. I ordered the beef and onion empanada with a side of rice, beans and pork. They're not "to die for" delicacies by any stretch of the imagination but rather a fun diversion from the winter doledrums. And their homemade sauces, like the Spicy Spanish Mayonnaise, are delicious. The best part is that Juan and Maria fawn over every customer. Juan was telling us about his expansion and franchising plans (i.e., start local but grow aggressively from the Monroe County core) and I couldn't help but wonder if the experience will be as warm and heartening if some random dude named Bob, who doesn't speak a lick of Espanol, is preparing and serving the dishes in a squeaky clean, satellite, mall location. When all is said and done, it's not wholly about the food. Time will tell.

Next: unpack my suitcase (as it's been four days since we returned) or read a magazine? I feel guilt descending.

Mini-weekend: Day 5

Another week -- another day off. Missed last week but it's okay because today I'm packing (yea!) for a week in Sanibel. I just wish the weather report looked a bit warmer. I love intense heat and it's only showing low 70s. Anyhoo, nobody likes a whiner. Time to pack the Snuggie.

Highlight of today: a fresh mani/pedi.

Potential highlight of the trip: a spring training game betwixt the Red Sox and the Pirates. Somehow this Mets/Yankees family spawned a Sox fan. Not sure how this DNA mix-up occurred but Son #2 is beside himself with anticipation. My wallet is anticipating a "Can I get a hat?" hit followed immediately by the "Hey, he got a hat. That's unfair. What can I get?" doublewhammy.

I simply cannot wait to hit the beach, relax, read a book, have an umbrella-laden cocktail and, I hope, enjoy the sunshine.

In unrelated travel news: TripAdvisor posted my review of our hotel in NYC. Not much to write about; therefore, not much to read. But I always feel compelled to share my two cents perhaps because I get so much value from that site. How did anyone plan trips before it?!

Mini-weekend: Day 3

I'm shocked that this is the third week (albeit not in a row) of a mid-week day off. And because I worked six days last week, I'm taking two (2!) days off this week. I'm living the life of Riley!

Highlights of today included:

• Waiting for the bus in the morning while the kids played in the igloo across the street. My neighbor called out, "Does everyone know rule #1 about playing in the igloo?" to which the 10 year old boy next door responded, "No smoking?" (The real answer: no climbing on top while kids are inside.)
• Spending 1.5 hours with my BMC/body-mind centering teacher. What's the point of a day off if you cannot spend time de-stressing and transforming your life?
• Playing hockey until my fingertips froze
  
• Cleaning!

What's next?

Mini-weekend: Day 2

Another four-day work week! Or as my friend/client Dawn said to me, "You claim you're down to a four-day week but you worked all weekend. You're really just down to six days." Yeah, thanks buzz kill.

Plans for today include:
1) Laundry (in progress)
2) Getting my head around my Schwab account (God help me, literally)
3) Dinner with Miche at Olives

I also hope to dust, talk on the phone, read a bit, whatever.

And I finally just watched Obama's speech. I don't care what MSNBC says, I thought it was powerful.

"America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

Mini-weekend: Day 1

Today is Day 1 of the year of mini-weekends! We'll see how long this can last. Any bets?

What I plan to do:

1. Try to stay off Facebook for a few hours!
2. Take a six-hour bubble bath
3. Meet a girlfriend at B&N to plan her ex-husband's memorial service (seriously!)
4. Return all of the stupid clothes I bought after the holidays because my brain was on fire with the 80% off sales -- yeah, 80% off an ugly coat doesn't make the coat better looking
5. Get my pants tailored (i.e., the trials of being 5'4" in a 6' family) (a.k.a. never start smoking at a young age)
6. Thank God for mini-weekends and other blessings
   
7. Greet the kids as they get off the bus

May not sound exciting to you but it sounds heavenly to me.