The Idiots' Guide to Makee Money

I have a serious question. How do people who post crap in blog comments make money?

Like:

As Xrumer experts, we secure been using [url=http://www.xrumer-seo.com]Xrumer[/url] quest of a large leisure now and know how to harness the titanic power of Xrumer and turn it into a Cash machine.

Followed much later by:

Reminisce over, Transport is Money.
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TRAVERSE B RECOVER YOUR INFERIOR BURST TODAY:

While I realize that online language translators aren't always optimal, I seriously don't understand how this mess can ever be monetized. What am I missing (aside from an untapped revenue stream)?

Reminisce over and out. Show me the (transport is) money.

Rockin' the Suburbs

Yeah, okay, so the title of this post is quoting Ben Folds but it seemed somewhat apropos. Y'all don't know what it's like to be young, middle class and white. You see, there I was watching ye olde flat screen last night when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a perfect, spoofy-yet-real commercial for a Weezer Snuggie! BONUS: When you order, you get their new CD (a $15 value) for free.

Man do I love these guys! Pure marketing genius.



On a semi-related note, someone posted the following little anecdote the other day on My Life is Average:

"Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea but I couldn't change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn't want my arms to get cold."

My alternate title for this post was WWBHW (a.k.a. What Would Buddy Holly Wear)?
I don't care what they say about us anyway, I don't care about that!

Mini-weekend: Day 11

It's cold and windy today yet this weekend is supposed to be 80+ degrees and sunny. I hear the hammock calling my name!

While on the topic of bizarre fluctuations, I ran across this little tidbit below as I was doing a bit o' research yesterday on the NYS Economic Development budget. One of the "major initiatives" that NYS is planning to close the budget gap is to reduce tourism and marketing funding.

Funding for tourism and marketing programs, including “I Love New York” Tourism, Local Tourism Matching Grants, International Trade, Explore New York and Business Marketing will be reduced or eliminated. Even after these actions, $17 million will be available to support various tourism and marketing programs, such as “I Love NY” Tourism Advertising, Local Tourism Matching Grants and International Trade.

So let me get this straight: we're cutting funding for tourism programs like "I Love NY" in order to ensure that money is available for tourism programs like "I Love NY"? Is there such a thing as peek-a-boo funding? Now you see it/now you don't?

I Love NY. I Love NY not. I Love NY. I Love NY not. I Love NY. I Love NY not. I Love NY. I Love NY not. I Love NY. I Love NY not. I Love NY.

In related news: Virginia is still for losers. It's so embarrassing to have a typo in your slogan, no?

Nice Timing!

I just received a six-color, three-panel, die-cut, coated, foldout brochure with pocket containing an application for membership and "call to action" for FREE (all caps!) access to an exclusive Webcast and a $20 gift card if I join by October 31, 2008. The worst part: it's from the American Marketing Association!

Maybe they should be taking some pointers from the Direct Marketing Association on how to get their expensive mail in their prospects' mailboxes before the deadline -- not 3+ months too late.

"Marketing is moving in new directions. How will you navigate it?"

In hindsight, that pseudo-compelling headline now sounds suspiciously like they're really asking for advice. I think I'll avoid the $215 membership dues entirely and "navigate my way to greater success" alone.

Snuggie

"Blankets are OK but they can slip and slide, plus your hands are trapped inside." Darned if the Snuggie people haven't found their own pet rock!

I have a better idea for when you're cold: put on a sweater! Or if you really want to look like a jerk but don't want to spend the money: put your robe on backwards.

But I have to give them props for awesome marketing. People all over America are probably buying the "blanket with sleeves" -- and I'm just mad at myself for not thinking of the idea first.

Elegance and Rebellion

My girlfriend Kim is getting married in ten days. Cannot wait!

In the process of shopping for dresses -- wedding, rehearsal dinner, dancing, whatever -- she came across some gorgeous dresses from Nicole Miller. While Kim's taste runs much wilder than mine (she's younger and more hippie chick), I really like the professional dresses on the Nicole Miller site.



What's more, I appreciate the fact that her marketing team accurately captured the subtle nuance of her style.

Nicole Miller uniquely combines the ideas of elegance and rebellion
to achieve a subtle sexiness that is the essence of modern femininity.

In this world where everything seems to be shifting to ubiquitous mall store fashion (which can be a blessing in a city like ours where style is not a top priority), it's refreshing to see elegance that works.

Image Matters

I've been interviewing senior-level marketing candidates for a position on the leadership team of a local firm. This individual will report directly into the President/CEO and will be responsible for guiding the organization's strategy and marketplace presence.

One candidate, who we liked immensely, sent gorgeous cards to both the CEO and me. Beautiful, gold embossed cards inside of which she inserted a nondescript, poorly written, two sentence, typed note on a scrap of paper that was literally ripped (i.e., not nicely cut) from a piece of white copier paper.

No time like the present to conserve paper. And time. It wasn't even personalized to us, the job or the company.

If we hired her, can we expect the Marketing Plan to be written in crayon?