A Life of Joy and Peace

My girlfriend's "Aunt Dolly" died last week. She wasn't just a peripheral figure, she played a major part in raising the entire family -- taking three of the four daughters into her home in the burbs when their section of the city became too wild and woolly to attend school safely. She also took in a million of their friends and/or random strangers (including traveling "hippies from CA") and gave them tea, dinner and a place to sleep as frequently, and as long, as needed.

Even at 96, she was the center of every party (as are her nieces, no surprise) and never, in the 20+ years that I've been friends with these women, have I been to one of their parties, or to a mutual friend's party, where Aunt Doll hasn't been present. Until Saturday afternoon, that is.

Fittingly, her eulogy on Saturday morning was, by far, the most wonderful tribute I have ever heard. I cannot do it justice here because I'm sure I'll get the wording wrong and obviously cannot replicate the voice/tone in which it was delivered but I have never laughed so hard at a funeral in my life or cried buckets of tears of happiness for a life well lived. She deserved the best.

The theme of her eulogy was that she was not cut from the same cloth as many of us. She didn't gossip, was not judgmental, always made room for friends and had a heart as big as Denver. Apparently she constantly broke out into song, too, which I never knew before but now wish I had. Simpatico! Her favorites? Amazing Grace (me too!) and Achy Breaky Heart (hey, she was old). She also loved, more than anything, to go to church. A woman after my own heart.

The best part of the tribute was when Anthony, my girlfriend's husband, said something akin to the following in his deep, oratorical voice. (Although his version was much better, I captured the essence, I hope.)

"When the girls asked me to give the eulogy, I said, 'No problem; piece of cake.' I guarantee any one of you could come up here and say fabulous things about Aunt Dolly. But here's what's noteworthy: I bet not one of you could think of anything bad to say about her. Now that's something to celebrate! Think about that for a moment. Better yet, let's test the concept.

We'll start with me. I'm sure there are those of you out there who would call me an accomplished man (Note: He's an M.D.). A spiritual man even. Others, on the other hand, might say I'm a pompous ass.

What about my lovely wife? Passionate personality; life of the party! Yes. But many of you might also say, 'loose cannon.'

My brother-in-law? You may call him an excellent multitasker who is able to accomplish more in one day than the rest of us in a week. I say 'classic case of ADD.'

How about Tom here? While some may say, 'Brilliant man. Well versed in many, diverse areas,' others would say, 'Unfettered hedonist.'

Now try it on Aunt Dolly. See? There's only one side of the equation: warm, happy, non-judgmental and loving."

That snippet only scratches the surface of what was said that day. What a fabulous send-off. And all true. I cannot think of one negative thing I could even dream to say or think about her.

That's how life should be lived -- and how death should be celebrated. We'll miss you Aunt Doll.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.