When I left the company run by one of New York's Worst Bosses, I was hired immediately by a well respected not-for-profit that was run by two co-Executive Directors: clinical and business management. The latter of the two became my boss.
During my interview, the clinical Executive Director warned me that my soon-to-be-boss told off-color jokes. I assured her that it didn't bother me in the slightest. I had, in fact, met him at a a Broadway show where he introduced himself as a proctologist. Not all that funny but whatever.
Everything at this job went fairly smoothly. He would leave around 11:00 a.m. every day to go to lunch and come back to the office around 3:00 p.m. drunk. Because he left me alone to do my job, his behavior didn't actually bother me at all. And the majority of his sexual innuendos were stated in front of others presumably for comedic effect. They usually elicited a chuckle from me.
One day he took me and my girlfriend, who was then working for People magazine, to lunch and began peppering us with all sorts of questions like "where is the wildest place you've ever had sex?" (She later confided in me that she made all of her answers up because her real life sounded too boring.) It was a strange lunch but not, for whatever reason, alarming. I think because he seemed so benign at the time -- and I was just grateful to be in a relatively stress-free environment.
A few weeks later, our institute held a black-tie, fund raising event at the University Club after which he invited me for drinks. I declined. The next day, he came into work still in his tuxedo and shared with me that he had gone to a neighborhood bar, picked up two young girls, went back to their hotel room and had a threesome. "You should have come with me."
Please note: this man had a wife and young baby in CT.
Finally, I started getting the creeps. He then began asking me to lunch and I kept putting him off until one Friday, I agreed, under the premise that we were going to talk about my performance and possible new initiatives.
We sat down at a two-person table with banquette seating. There were customers dining at tables on either side of us who were so close that they could have joined in the conversation. Instead, they just listened in.
My boss then proceeded to tell me that he loves making sexual comments in front of others because my chest heaves (ew!) and that he fantasizes about "doing me" in the Board room. Why I continued eating, I'll never know. What else was said, I cannot remember. I just remember the silence at the tables on either side of us. And his silence when I finally stood up and quit.
For whatever reason, we walked back to the building together in silence, and then road the elevator together with the silence punctured by my co-worker Lisa's friendly, "Hi guys!" greeting as we joined her.
Lisa later shared with me that I was one of a long string of women hired for that position. Same story; different girl.
She also shared with me that, after I left, this same man brought in a package of rub-on tattoos and told the entire staff that whoever put a tattoo in the most interesting place on his/her body would get a day off. He then sat in his office and screened the results, one-by-one, behind closed doors.
Needless to say, he was ultimately fired but I still can't imagine why he wasn't let go much sooner. When I told my story to the other Executive Director, her only comment was, "I warned you." No, you didn't. In my opinion, off-color jokes are vastly different than sexual harassment. Both, however, may qualify for dismissal.
I wonder what, if anything, he was holding over her head.
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