We Get Around

Packed the kids in the car the day after school got out for the summer and headed on a little road trip. Two of my girlfriends had babies over the past year and I needed to meet their sweet little girls. And while in the area, loosely defined, why not stop and see everyone else I love? Five stops in five days: a whirlwind tour of the MidAtlantic.

I packed the usual stuff for a traveling family: toothbrushes and swim suits. Nintendo DS coupled with hours and hours of Green Day DVD concert footage to keep little rockers occupied (and me insane). Son #2 packed his skateboard and helmet and announced while we were driving that he was planning to hit a bunch of skate parks in Philadelphia. Oh really? Don't get your hopes up . . .

Stop #1/Baby #1: Jacque & Sean (long-term friends from my NYC days) and their growing brood of gorgeous children in West Chester, PA including the always smiling baby Callie. We hung out, went for lunch and a swim at their country club and then Armageddon began. The sky turned black . . . the wind began to switch, the pool to pitch and suddenly the hinges started to unhitch. Thankfully we got to the car just in time. On the way home, Jacque tried to show us their beautiful town but street lights were out, branches were flying into the street, trees were falling down on top of cars (literally), thick planks were flying off of building sites and mayhem ensued. Um, maybe we should just head home? So we went back to the house, Jacque made cosmos and later they treated us to a giant, charcuterie-laden dinner at the Four Dogs Tavern. Delicious.

I've decided that, with its rolling country hills, thriving town center, nice restaurants, old row houses and picturesque farmhouses, I could live here. Oh and what else is in West Chester you may ask? Why a Skate Park, of course. For a mere $5 (all you can skate), Son #2's wishes fulfilled. Both boys agreed they could live here, too. (Backup plan #1 for my next so-called career.)

Stop #2: My college roommate Berrie's house in Media, PA -- a mere 20 minute drive. Another sweet little town; another great little family. Here we went to their pool and Berrie packed a picnic dinner. We experienced a minor setback when Son #2, who refuses to take swimming lessons while his brother is actively pursuing his Junior Lifeguard certificate, went off the diving board and then doggy paddled his way back to the edge. Both kids were then approached by the lifeguard who made them take a swimming test which Son #1 passed and Son #2 failed. So much for that diving board-related fun. He proceeded to sit in my lap crying and refused to go back into the pool for hours. As luck would have it, there was a slide in the shallow end that finally coaxed him back in. Fun reinstated.

Stop #3: To visit my brother Kevin and his family in Charlottesville, VA. They're in the process of buying a house, and currently in a nice little apartment, so we stayed at the ever-so-swanky Boar's Head Inn where they are members. What did we do there? Shocking but true: we went swimming. And then what? My Jackie-O-esque sister-in-law and I took Son #2 to, yes, a skate park. Free skating. Free pads. Hotter than hell.

What else was really nice? My other brother Markie, his wife and cute baby Sully drove up from NC to see us, too. We went to dinner at a Wild Wings joint and generally just hung out. Now that Son #1 is ten (!), he refuses to order off the children's menu and is mortified during basically every event in life. That night the trigger was the plastic cup and straw. Instead of taking matters into his own hands, he begins stewing and you can see the anger building. Here, let me take that up to the bar and get you a glass. Calmness reinstated.

Stop #4: My girlfriend Kristy's house in Northern VA (a really good friend from our short but interminable life in the area). She and her Fabio-esque hubby (who just cut his hair short!) had just thrown a big party the night before so we arrived and immediately launched into a giant helping of five-star, Iron Chef worthy leftovers complete with margaritas. And then? Ah yes, into the pool where Kristy tried to teach me how to dive. Later, as the kids played Guitar Hero, she and I sat together chatting and detoxifying in her dry sauna -- just like two old ladies waiting for a bus. It was just perfect.


Stop #5/Baby #2: Last stop, Kim y Alex's home in DC to meet the lovely baby Madeleine. Here we hung in their fenced-in backyard and had a barbecue. Drank champagne. Called the cops on the juvenile delinquents next door. The usual. The next day was hot, hot, hot so we stayed inside and played with the baby. We listened to baby songs and danced. So stinkin' cute. Right when it was time to start the long trek home, the skies darkened. We ran through the pouring rain to get to the car. Armageddon #2. Fire trucks and sirens everywhere. Massive floods pouring down the streets. Cars asunder. Pavement upheavals. Police blockades. Traffic jams. Perfect timing. It took almost seven hours for a 5.5 hour drive.

Next time, I'm renting a house on the beach for a week. If anyone wants to see me, they're welcome to visit.