Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Aging with My Friends

A couple of years ago, I was sitting with my girlfriend Meg's husband on their basement floor while his daughters covered us with makeup and feather boas and placed big hats on our heads. I asked him, "If you had seen a vision of yourself like this when you were in college, do you think you would have had kids?" He responded, "Probably not. This can't look good."

I was thinking about appearances again last weekend while at my girlfriend Mary's cottage on Keuka Lake.

On Saturday, I just wanted to swim out to their floating trampoline and chill out in the sunshine but totally took up the challenge to coax another friend, Christine, into a "slow" tube ride behind the boat with us while agreeing with Mary's husband that, as soon as we were comfortable, he should go as fast as possible.

Really, at what age do people stop trying to mess with each others' heads? We've been friends since the late 60s/early 70s and nothing (yet everything) has changed.

I wondered if, at age 15, I had seen a future vision of ourselves in our mid-40s, with kids on the boat, screaming like we were still teenagers, would I have thought it looked funny?

I remember Mary telling me when we were around 20 years old that she couldn't wait until we got into the nursing home so we could eat Ho Hos all day long and play quarters whenever we wanted. Her premise was: Who cares if we get fat when we're 85? We may as well have fun.

Although the quarters part is no longer appealing, I think hanging out with my girlfriends when I'm 85 appeals to me even more today than it did when I was 20.

Oddly enough, just as I was writing this, I got a call from my friend Erin who said that her parents had moved to -- get this -- Surprise, Arizona. She said it was like Disneyworld for retirees. They are on the party circuit, going out for dinners, cruising around in golf carts, and having the time of their lives. Doesn't that sound like fun?

For now, I'll enjoy the weekends with my kids and my friends. In 40 years, who knows. Will it be quarters at dawn or golf?

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