Morning Awkward

I was riding the elevator down to the hotel lobby yesterday morning with a business man who was roughly my age. We stopped on the 11th floor where a younger dude wearing a navy pinstripe suit stepped in the elevator and gave the first guy a forced "hello."

Going against unwritten elevator protocol, he never turned around to face the door. Instead, he stared right at the first man and said, "I heard some men had fun at the casino last night."

Dead silence.

"Were you one of them?"

Pause. Eyes averted. Focus on the floor.

"Well, I was there."

Nothing more was said. The doors opened and the pinstriped man walked away briskly.

Now I want to know: what the hell happened at the casino?! And why wasn't I invited? Had I been prescient enough to feel this man's shame and embarrassment prior to the unspoken reprimand, I could have passionately chimed in (like in the movies), "No, he was with me."

Yeah, that would have been better. What happens in Milwaukee stays in Milwaukee?

I Wanna Wake Up in a City That Doesn't Sleep

On nights like last night and days like today, I really miss living in NYC. And I miss the Bronx Bombers' main fan: my Grandpa Jack.

I love hearing cheers coming from all of the neighboring apartments and adjacent buildings when the Yankees score. I love hearing Frank Sinatra pouring out of the PA system at the end of a game in Yankee stadium. I love the ensuing mayhem on the streets when a World Series title is clinched. And I love me a good ticker tape parade.

Although the Yanks won the World Series championship three times while we lived there in the mid-to-late 90s, I only saw the parade once: in 1996 when I was working downtown at American Express. Thousands of us from the World Trade and World Financial Centers lined the streets but, for whatever reason, my girlfriends and I were up close-and-personal. There was so much white confetti in the sky, on the streets and covering our bodies that it looked like a blizzard. It was also really friggin' cold that year so the overall effect was a bit like New Years Rockin' Eve. So. Much. Fun.

There's nothing quite like it.

Yay Yanks!

It's Holiday Time Again!

I sat with a client briefly yesterday to discuss the details of their holiday party: decorating the atrium and tree, food, wine, invitations, etc.

In the course of planning, I was reminded of a joke my grandfather used to tell where two friends run into each other on the street. One says to the other, "Did you hear that Myrna's having an affair?" and the other responds, "Oh? Who's the caterer?"

Padum pum.

Tropical Rain Forest

My boss just got back from eight days in Costa Rica where she and her daughter had a blast. Her daughter sent a bunch of pictures of the rain forest, monkeys, crocodiles, butterflies, beaches, yachts and waterfalls. But my favorites were those of my boss, post zip-lining in the rain, with her face absolutely covered in grease and monkey poo. I used one as the background on the main office computer because it's hilarious.

Many years ago, I left my girlfriend Bridget in Tasmania where we were working, and went to travel Australia alone. I made my way from Melbourne up to Alice Springs and Ayers Rock over to Cairns and up to Cape Tribulation before heading back down to Byron Bay and ultimately Sydney where I arrived, penniless. I then borrowed money from my girlfriend Kris' now husband John so that I could afford two more weeks in Tahiti on my way home. Shameless! During my travels, I barely ate and spent my nights in backpackers' hostels that were, at times, covered floor-to-ceiling in geckos. I met heaps of great people, and literally ran into a couple I knew from Tasmania on the beach in Byron Bay, but really just wanted to be by myself for the most part.

I was thinking about all of this yesterday when leafing through the photos because one morning, while in northern Queensland, I awoke early so I could take a long hike through the rain forest. It was vibrant, green and lush. The ferns were dripping with moisture and the sounds were indescribable. It felt so otherworldly and luxurious to me. As I got further and further into the forest, I began to get a little fearful until one point where there was this gigantic lizard blocking my path forward -- which totally unnerved me. I didn't know what to do. Could I step over it? Was it a man-eating lizard? Would it please move? I somehow made my way past it but by then I was freaking out. I felt so alone and knew that I could be the only person in this part of the world for miles. Who would find my scattered remains? And when?

A second later, I entered a clearing that was littered with empty cases of beer, potato chip bags and other remnants of a recent party.

So much for the feelings of isolation and grandeur. My exotic rain forest experience vanished instantly on the heels of an Aussie frat party. And, to make matters worse, I arrived a few hours too late.