Thursday, December 3, 2009

Yu-Gi-Oh My God!

Following is a brief except of the inside of a nine year old boy's head (or what he excitedly shares at approximately 500 words per second) when asked what he wants for Christmas:
Well, every monster that my opponent controls, no for every monster he summons, the monster is decreased by two thousand points for whatever position it’s in. And if it doesn’t have enough points, it’s automatically destroyed with no battle damage done. That’s the reason I want Slifer the Sky Dragon. It gains a thousand attack points for every card in your hand. The Wing Dragon of Ra costs over $50 on Amazon. Well, I don’t exactly want it too much but it’s good because it’s an Egyptian God monster and it doesn’t matter about the stars for the monsters you sacrifice it just adds up all those points. It’ll well when it’s sent to the graveyard it’ll do a direct attack on the player for a certain amount of attack that I don’t really know unless it comes from the field to the graveyard. Obelisk the Tormentor starts out with four thousand attack and gains more attack with every monster you sacrifice. Both to sacrifice it up for him and just feeding him monsters. Yes, you can feed him monsters. I can also ask for Exodia the Forbidden One and Horakhty, the Creator, God of Light. It’s just a fusion of all the three. The three Egyptian God Monsters. Both count as an automatic win . . .
Following is a brief except of the inside of my mind as I stare at him feigning interest and completely check out during the first sentence:
The monster is decreased by two thousand, wait, that reminds me of a song. What song? Decreased. Decreased. Clocks? Yes. Clocks. Every day, I get up and pray to Jah. And he decreases the number of clocks by exactly one. Everybody's comin' home for lunch these days. Last night there were skinheads on my lawn . . .
A mere 35 year difference. A similar mess.

2 comments:

Suzanne Marie DeWitt said...

He sooooo reminds me of Ian I can hardly believe it. Somewhere in the archives I have 5 typed pages of this stuff from a few years ago, which he dumped out in a continuous unbroken paragraph while designing a game. We should get them together so you can see what age 16 might look like.

Pranayama mama said...

would love that! maybe over the holidays??