I decided to cease drinking for 40 days in a bit of a self-imposed, spiritual quest. I felt convicted that if I'm seeking clarity from God, I need to respond in kind. I'm fairly certain that it would be difficult for Him to provide keen insight if my mind is dulled by Pinot Noir.
Like management consulting, the best work in the world (i.e., God's, of course!) will go unheeded if there is not a dedicated receiver at the client site (i.e., my addled brain).
So I'm cleaning up my act with the hope that I can gain some lucidity regarding my so-called career. Whereas, to co-opt a term that my pastor uses, there's a bit of a "God on demand" quotient in this pursuit, I understand fully that there is no guarantee that I will achieve anything more than my current state of angst-riddled ambiguity. But I have faith. And there's no foreseeable downside to this effort that I'm aware of.
It's been only 10 days thus far and counting. Yet here's where I find it alarming: like going without a cigarette when you first quit, I have recently found myself craving a glass of wine or a dirty martini. Worrisome, no?
Last night, I went out to dinner with my girlfriends and for the first time -- since high school?!-- I didn't have a single drink with them. Every once in a while, throughout the evening, I would get a pang of desire followed by internal bartering (e.g., just one sip will be okay). Thankfully I didn't cave. And we had a blast.
At the end of the night, my girlfriends suggested that if I really want some spiritual insights, I should begin smoking peyote.
Instead, maybe I'll have a peyote smoothie.
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