Hay-ulp! Hay-ulp!

I brought my two, new, manly recruits to the Cub Scouts meeting last night. Whereas I was expecting order, there was chaos.

Parents: What nights are the meetings for the fourth grade den?
Scout dude: You would have to check with Dave.
Parents: Who is Dave?
Scout dude: He's the den master for fourth grade. He's not here tonight.

Parents: Is there any concern about kids with food allergies during cookouts?
Scout dude: I'm not sure . . . if you let us know ahead of time, I'm sure we could accommodate them with some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Scout dude (reiterating throughout the night): It is strictly prohibited that a scout sleep with any adults other than his parents.
Me (silently after the first utterance): I get it. My kids can't sleep in Tommy's tent regardless of how well we know and trust his dad.
Me (silently after the second): Okay, maybe someone missed the first statement.
Me (silently after the third): Uh, yeah, I think we got it.
Me (silently after the fourth): Dude, you're starting to freak me out . . .

Me: If my husband isn't into this, would it be strange for a mother to join the scouts on the camp out?
Scout dude: Not at all! Just raise your hand when you get there and say, "help!" Somebody will lend you a hand to put up the tent.
Me: You're telling me to play the "chick card"?

Onward to important business. Say, who wants to buy some popcorn??