Doubt within Doubt

Whenever I'm in the waiting room at the doctor, I pick up O magazine and search for any article written by Kelly Corrigan. Her writing style and interesting family anecdotes always engage me.

In this piece picked up by CNN, she discusses her parents' faith alongside her doubts. Inasmuch as genuine faith cannot really be understood by outsiders, it's really easy for nonbelievers to claim that faith and reason (or logic) are mutually exclusive. At least it was for me. Close book. End of story. It took a perfect storm of personal experiences, coupled with sermons from a hyper-intellectual pastor, for me to grasp that intelligence and faith can co-exist. (Or maybe I'm just telling myself that to make myself feel better!) However difficult it may be at times, I'm glad that my faith journey continues.

Given all of my initial concerns about a relationship with God, I haven't yet been asked to travel on the short bus singing Kumbaya. Nor has God prompted me to give up everything and serve in a mission in Kenya. Neither seem likely at this time but as Romeo Void once sang, "Never say never." I'm open to anything.

Maybe I'm reading between the lines too much in the aforementioned article but, to me, it sounds like Kelly is embarking on a faith journey of her own. While intellectually she may be where I was years ago on this topic, spiritually she appears to be much more open minded than I ever was.

"Regardless of where I am on the spectrum from atheism to theism, I'd rather my girls be grounded in something, even something that seems too good or crazy to be true. This is why, when the girls ask me about God, I say that people believe all kinds of things and no one really knows, including me, but that I hope."

But that I hope . . .

I hope that she finds what she's looking for.

"From there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul." (Deuteronomy 4:29)