Racials Slurs and Expletives in Second Grade

Last night, after watching Serena Williams play in the US Open for a little while, I was putting the kids to bed. Son #1 asked me, "Mama, why do some people call black people the 'N word'?"

Me: Where on earth did you hear that word?

Son #1: Evan called a girl in our class a "F'ing N" last year and got sent to the Principal's office. (Names changed to protect the not-so-innocent.)

Me (shocked, horrified and somewhat speechless): That is not acceptable -- not funny, not to be taken lightly, not to ever come out of your mouth -- do you understand? We need to focus on loving everyone and embracing people's differences.

Son #1: Yeah, that's why I like the kids in my class so much: some are Asian or Indian.

Me: So why, with so many awesome friends, do you hang out with Evan so much?

Son #1: Well, he's really funny. Do you know how we met?

Me: In kindergarten?

Son #1: Yeah, we were supposed to be drawing and he asked me if I wanted him to draw a picture of his private parts. So I said, "yes" but I didn't know what private parts were. A few minutes later, Mrs. Fernandez was taking him to the Principal's office and I looked over to my left and saw his drawing. That's when I figured out what private parts were. When Mrs. Fernandez came back she told us that we're not allowed to draw private parts in school.

(Pause.)

Me: Life is all about the choices you make. You have a choice right now. You can either sink to his level if you keep hanging out with him or you can raise him up and let him know that there's a better world out there that doesn't include using bad words and drawing inappropriate pictures.

Son #1: We've already talked about that. We now have an agreement that he won't swear around me any more.

Me: Whoa. I'm impressed that you've already had that conversation!

Son #1: I had to. He got sent to the Principal's office every day last year for swearing and I thought maybe he should stop.

I felt like I had been sucker punched. I am sooooooooo glad that, for the first time in three years, these kids are finally in different classrooms. And, no, he can never sleep over at that kid's house even though he keeps asking. Never. Do his parents think this crap is funny? Are they saying these things, too, or just resigned to it after raising older boys? I have no idea.

You are known by the company you keep. And life is governed by the choices we make. How do you really teach that to a kid entering third grade?

White People

I was reading a great series of posts on A Cup of Jo where she was talking about how yuppified life has become when your friends begin complaining about the duck confit or sharing stories about how someone got drunk at a wedding in Sri Lanka and fell off the edge of the infinity pool. As she says, "Wait, What? Awesome. Top that!" Yeah, I really don't think I can but I now have my eyes wide open for flagrant displays of this behavior!

A few clicks away, I then found myself on this blog: Stuff White People Like. The list is chock full of things I do, in fact, like (e.g., living by water, whole foods, yoga, indie music) -- along with hilarious copy pointing out the ridiculous nuances of each.

Regarding gentrification, he writes, "White people like to live in these neighborhoods because they get credibility and respect from other white people for living in a more “authentic” neighborhood where they are exposed to “true culture” every day. So whenever their friends mention their home in the suburbs or richer urban area, these people can say “oh, it’s so boring out there, so fake. In our neighborhood, things are just more real.” This superiority is important as white people jockey for position in their circle of friends."

Cracks me up. When we first moved back here and were looking for homes, many people suggested the town next to us because it has greater diversity. While I do wholeheartedly agree with that in concept, I couldn't help but think that by "diversity" they really meant the opportunity for our kids to grow up alongside other affluent children from hyper-educated parents who happen to be from different cultures, religions or races. Because, otherwise, if I was really aiming for cultural diversity, wouldn't I simply move to the inner city where they could meet families from all walks of life? And save some money on my mortgage in the process?

Go Amerks!

The hubby and I took the kids to a Rochester Americans game last night thanks to some free tickets courtesy of our public library. I hadn't been to a game since the early 80s. Even though it was the week of February break (and both Family Night and College Night), I guess with a 16-33 record it shouldn't have been surprising to find the arena less than half full! More room to stretch.

But, I have to say, it was a hoot. They gave out light-up maracas and had all of the customary games/music/Moose mascots for the kids to enjoy. But, most importantly, after playing poorly during the first two periods, the Amerks came out for the final period in rare form. It became a fast-paced game with a number of just-missed attempts that kept me on the edge of my seat. Given that I could barely keep my eyes open before the game began, that was no easy feat.

The best part: The Amerks won in overtime. Sudden death is fun!

I do have two questions however:

1. What were they thinking when they named the opposing team the "Albany River Rats"?
   
2. Why are 99.9% of the spectators white?
   

Any answers?