Fly the Unfriendly Skies

As a constant living-the-brand fanatic, I have to post about a recent experience on a United Airlines flight from IAD to ORD last Thursday. When I boarded, Maurice -- the famous-in-certain-circles dude from the United safety video (everyone who flies would recognize him, I swear) -- and two of his counterparts were seated in the row immediately in front of me. Even though they were passengers, they all wore their United uniforms complete with yellow striping on the shoulders. Fame in our midst!

At the end of the flight, as we were descending to O'Hare, the father seated next to me pulled a travel bag out from under the seat in front of him, gathered his two little daughters' electronics, dolls and books from across the aisle and started packing. Without prompting, the United employee seated directly in front of him totally freaked out and laid into him about bumping his seat. The dad quietly apologized and explained that he was just trying to pack his kids' stuff before landing. The United employee angrily responded, "Don't hit my seat again."

I was oddly shaken. Sure, I don't know what's going on in this guy's life. Maybe he has long-standing anger management issues or possibly he's just having a difficult time right now.  But a lashing like that from anyone, especially someone in uniform, is totally unmerited.

As we stood to deplane, I fully expected this guy to apologize. Something along the lines of, "I'm really sorry about my outburst. I've had a rough day and didn't mean to take it out on you" would have gone a long way to repairing the incident. Instead, he just walked away. I also hoped that Maurice, a somewhat high profile brand ambassador, would have had the dignity, integrity and chops to speak up.

United breaks more than guitars -- they break all the rules of brand and social etiquette. So much for the Friendly Skies.

Hooray for Geeks

This morning, I awoke to go swimming but first checked the RAC website to make sure there were no classes in the pool. Nope, none until 9:00 a.m. I arrived to find an 8:00 a.m. class beginning in 15 minutes.

Me: Your website is wrong. It says the Aqua-Cise class is at 9:00 a.m.

Front desk chick: I don't handle the website.

Me: Well, I don't appreciate driving all of the way here to discover that I cannot swim.

Front desk chick: (blank stare)

Me (leading the witness): Is there someone I can contact to get this corrected?

Front desk chick: I don't know. Maybe I could ask someone else when they get in?

Me: That would be great.

I love her not-my-problem, out-of-my-functional-silo, maybe-do attitude.

So I went home and on the way stopped at Tim Hortons because we had a sleepover last night and Son #2's friend loves vanilla dip donuts. (If you can't exercise, might as well eat disgusting sugar encrusted lipids for breakfast.)

Aside from the Geek Squad truck pulling in, the parking lot was otherwise empty. Being lazy from a lack of exercise at the gym, I opted for the drive-thru.

Me: I would like a dozen donuts.

Drive-thru dude: That'll be $6.49; drive up to the window.

Me: Don't you want to know what kind I want?

Dude: It's just assorted in the drive-thru. If you want to pick your donuts, you have to come it.

Me: But no one's behind me and the restaurant is empty.

Dude: Yeah, but you still have to come in.

So in I went. I love his follow-the-rules-even-when-ridiculous, no-can-do approach to customer satisfaction.

On the way in, the Geek Squad held the door for me. I, in turn, offered to hold the inside door for them but they wouldn't let me.

Geek: We're not only friendly guys, we're representing the fabulous Best Buy brand.

Say what???? Um, did I just hear that correctly? A delivery crew who is trained to serve customers, or potential customers, well even when popping in off the clock to grab donuts? And mention their brand name in the process?

Best Buy. My new heroes. Really, it doesn't take much.

Take a Load Off

With all of this talk about airlines, such as Spirit Air, beginning to charge extra fees not only for checked bags but also for carry on bags, people are clearly dismayed. When it's bundled into the cost of our tickets, we don't know how much we're paying for baggage because it's not itemized (so we complain about high ticket costs). When it's unbundled and we're presumably paying a lower fare to fly, we balk at the incremental fees.

Yet here is where these policies create real value for the travelers and not for the airline: the power of choice. At $45 for a carry-on and, on average, $20 for a checked bag, I might be better off sending my luggage via FedEx, no? The four-day, ground, door-to-door delivery option for 30 lb. package traveling from Rochester to Beverly Hills is a mere $36.75. Yep. I'll pay a lower price to fly and I don't have to carry a thing. Sure I have to pack earlier than usual; I can handle that.

I'm not sure if this is a classic example of some idiot in revenue management looking at growing his airline's profit margins (short-term) without looking at the bigger picture (i.e., customer dissatisfaction and/or lost revenue to a carrier that's not directly in his competitive set); however, if I worked in marketing at FedEx, I would leverage this opportunity to market the heck out of my service and cue up The Band.

And . . . you put the load right on me.