Photo Per Day #20: Gingerbread House

By the time young boys masterfully glue the roof and walls of a gingerbread house together using a thick, sticky, viscous confectioners' sugar and water combination, thereby staving off structural collapse by a thread, they've lost total interest in decorating. Eat a disgusting green, mint, jellied candy. Spit it out. Throw the rest of the gummies on the roof (or at least the parts that you've bothered to frost). Open the other bag of candies and and throw it on the "ground." Call it a day.

Less Martha Stewart. More foreclosure.

Photo Per Day #19: Frozen Ropes

Yesterday was Son #2's last indoor baseball game for the season. With the exception of the other team's coach loudly and continually criticizing (er, I mean coaching) his team, Frozen Ropes is eerily quiet. The sound of the ball hitting the metal bat echoes off the walls. And since it's shrowded in nets to keep the bystanders safe, the rules are somewhat bizarre. Hit the nets on the ceiling directly above the pitcher? Assumed catch. You're out.

Son #2 up to bat and, later, on second base.

Photo Per Day #18: Oh Crap!

Last night, six sets of neighbors gathered for our annual gag gift swap. The kids did their secret santas. Son #1 got a GameStop giftcard; Son #2 got an iTunes card along with a bucket of faux snow balls that he loves and continues to chuck at us all day today.

My favorite pic, however, is of my girlfriend's chocolate dip with animal cracker poised atop. Yum? Thank heavens it wasn't steaming . . .

I asked if I could snap a photo. She responded, "If you must." (I must.)

Photo Per Day #17: Pittsford Wines

Tonight is our annual neighborhood Christmas party and gag gift swap. I shopped at my neighbor's fabulous wine store. Great wines at reasonable prices and right smack dab in the village. No need to navigate the mall. Amen. Amen.

I didn't just buy anything; I bought local. In this case, I purchased a bottle of Cherry Liqueur from Finger Lakes Distilling. Just this week, I discovered this local distillery via my good friend Google after being entranced with the idea of establishing my very own distillery. Alas, someone beat me to the punch (pun intended, really). It just sounded so enticing in a recent article about a moonshine business that was published in my favorite magazine, Garden and Gun (where everything sounds so damn romantic). Maybe, at a later date, I'll try the Finger Lakes whiskey or gin. I want them to be successful, after all, right?!

Altruism never sounded so good.

Photo Per Day #16: American Picker

Would have posted last night but got home from Christmas with the bible study girls too late. Before the party, my girlfriend Meg and I stopped for a happy hour cocktail at Abilene . . .

. . . to see this guy. Fun!

Photo Per Day #15: Fly Rabbit Press

Why, when I am out shopping for gifts, must I always buy something for myself? Oh, I know the answer! I know exactly what I like! In this case, I recently bought a cute chartreuse print for my new office from local letterpress/graphic design artist Fly Rabbit Press.

And if you look through her posters, many of which were made for my favorite watering hole, Abilene, you'll note that she created the local poster for one of my favorite singers Eilen Jewell. It's a triple whammy!

Photo Per Day #14: 80's Perm

Sure, you can dress me up with a red nose and antlers (that have since fallen off ) but there's no escaping the 80's perm.

Photo Per Day #13: Les Misérables

Sorrow found me when I was young . . .

Son #1 may not think he looks or acts like me but he does (on both accounts)!

Photo Per Day #12: Ornaments

Tis the season to decorate the Christmas tree. As such, it's that time of the year when I open a box filled with my very own, unique ornaments. Ornaments that my loving friends and family created and hung on the tree at a surprise party for my 30th birthday 17 years ago this month. (Sheesh!) You know that you're loved when everyone, bar one, selected the worst possible pictures of me. (It's really not that hard.) Ornaments of me as a baby with food all over my face. Looking miserable as a kid. Kicking my leg in the air at parties (i.e., knickers shot) as an adult. Holding cocktails at parties. You name it, I have it.

After almost two decades in a box, they're not faring so well so I decided to capture a few on "film." Today's image may explain why I am shorter than the rest of my 6' tall family.

Photo Per Day #10: Plum House

Last weekend, TGI Fridays. This weekend, Plum House. More urban. Less gentrified. Tastier. Well worth it. All's fair in the game to remind the kids that there's more to life than Crapplebee's.

I've Been Waiting

This morning, on the way to the gym, I heard a song on WITR that I've liked whenever it came on the air for years but never bothered to pay attention beyond that. I never even knew what band played it. And, for the first time ever, I suddenly realized that it is a man singing. A man. Now it's so obvious. Especially when he starts screaming. How could I have ever thought otherwise?

It's the room, the sun and the sky. The room, the sun and the sky.

Photo Per Day #8: Thursday Night Football

I sometimes wonder: 1) Is everyone else's entire house one giant playground? 2) Do other moms come home at night and relax?

Photo Per Day #7: Oh Conference Tree Oh Conference Tree

So why is the quality of my iPhone pictures getting worse? What am I doing wrong? Anyhoo, today's picture hails from Monroe Country Club -- the location of today's offsite. I've decided that there should be a Christmas tree present at all corporate functions to make the atmosphere more festive.

Photo Per Day #6: OMJeeb

The box containing our nativity scene as labeled by the hubby.

Photo Per Day #5: Genesee Beer

Went to see itinerant artist Jim Mott speak yesterday at the ROC-ART exhibit at High Falls. This exhibition contains local paintings which I loved: Irondequoit Bay, Gibbs Street, the Little Theater. I wanted them all! And the paintings hang perfectly in the gallery which overlooks the falls and the High Falls Brewery.

Afterward, my girlfriend and I walked along the bridge at Pont du Rennes and snapped pics.

Makes me wanna sing. I got a Genesee beer at home, in the fridge, with my name on it.

Photo Per Day #4: Keuka Christmas

Spent the night last night at my girlfriend's house on Keuka Lake. We sat in the hot tub for hours and drank a lot of wine. We thought we might go swimming (in December!?) but we all chickened out when we got down to the dock.

Mary's front deck is covered with white Christmas lights . . .















But her tree is not yet adorned.

'Twas very, very peaceful this morning.

Photo Per Day #3: Hungerford Urban Artisans

I'm trying to buy local this Christmas. As such, Son #2 and I went to the Hungerford building today and bought a few awesome presents from the temporary stalls of the Rochester area Etsy craftsmen's Craftmas sale and a gorgeous something-something from one of the resident artists.

Such amazing talent from traditional artists (e.g., painters, scupltors, jewelers) and non-traditional artists like a guy who recreates children's books with balloon art. Run, run, as fast as you can . . .  

There was a great design studio with heaps of colorful, adorable girls fashions.  I would have bought Son #2 a great monkey skirt but he declined.

Not only did I want to buy a few thing for myself (e.g., knit cap, bunny yoga statue), I want a studio of my own. For what, I know not. I just want to dance.

Photo per Day #2: TGIF

Literally. After driving around the city, trying to find parking spaces to no avail last night, the kids decided that they wanted to go to Friday's instead. I caved.

Photo Per Day #1: Stella! Hey, Stella!

After a fabulous Thanksgiving at Belhurst Castle with my family and amazing nephew who was in town from (no sleep till) Brooklyn, I spent the rest of the weekend -- until this very morning -- in bed with the flu. The Christmas tree is literally half decorated as the first wave hit me like a hurricane as I was attempting to affix the (not tacky at all, thanks for asking) black Labrador angel to the treetop. Blech.

I did have a momentary lapse in sanity when I thought that, perchance, I was okay, so I went to the pool on Monday a.m. and then to the 6:45 a.m. mass at St. Louis only to get the sweats and shakes and run like hell.

Today, I am back to my sunny office, feeling on top of my game (and who wouldn't after working 36 hours from M-W this week in bed!?) only to discover that, hey, I'M A WIENER (insert hotdog wingding here)! I won a Stella + Dot bracelet from local blogger Chic and Green.

Who's the coolest chick in town? I am! I am! Thanks to my new best friend, whom I've never met, Karley. #winning

And now for fun, I'm reprising last year's photo-a-day series (taken during the month of November) with my second annual photo-a-day series (a month later). My audience loved it. Critics adored it. I think I even had a comment or two. Fans galore!

So without further ado: my sunny office as taken from behind my desk. Exciting, right? It doesn't get much better than this. You can't see me in the mirror because, I'm skillfully hidden behind the white door panels (well, except the arm taking the picture). I'm amazing like Kreskin.

Happy December y'all.

All in a Day's Work

There's nothing I love more when trying to work than listening to the radio, the sound of hammering, and painters who are refurbishing my old space for the new tenants talking about how girls have gotten hotter since they graduated from high school (but they themselves haven’t changed much).

Landlord? Check please.

You Can Tuna Piano

Do you know what doesn't match a grey, pinstripe skirt?

Tuna salad, that's what.

Do you know what you may have to do when you eat lunch in your car?

Stop anywhere immediately off the expressway exit for a new wardrobe, that's what.

In today's case, Kohl's. No, I don't want a credit card. No, I don't want to be on your mailing list. I just want a cheap skirt and the ability to get out of here pronto.

Fly the Unfriendly Skies

As a constant living-the-brand fanatic, I have to post about a recent experience on a United Airlines flight from IAD to ORD last Thursday. When I boarded, Maurice -- the famous-in-certain-circles dude from the United safety video (everyone who flies would recognize him, I swear) -- and two of his counterparts were seated in the row immediately in front of me. Even though they were passengers, they all wore their United uniforms complete with yellow striping on the shoulders. Fame in our midst!

At the end of the flight, as we were descending to O'Hare, the father seated next to me pulled a travel bag out from under the seat in front of him, gathered his two little daughters' electronics, dolls and books from across the aisle and started packing. Without prompting, the United employee seated directly in front of him totally freaked out and laid into him about bumping his seat. The dad quietly apologized and explained that he was just trying to pack his kids' stuff before landing. The United employee angrily responded, "Don't hit my seat again."

I was oddly shaken. Sure, I don't know what's going on in this guy's life. Maybe he has long-standing anger management issues or possibly he's just having a difficult time right now.  But a lashing like that from anyone, especially someone in uniform, is totally unmerited.

As we stood to deplane, I fully expected this guy to apologize. Something along the lines of, "I'm really sorry about my outburst. I've had a rough day and didn't mean to take it out on you" would have gone a long way to repairing the incident. Instead, he just walked away. I also hoped that Maurice, a somewhat high profile brand ambassador, would have had the dignity, integrity and chops to speak up.

United breaks more than guitars -- they break all the rules of brand and social etiquette. So much for the Friendly Skies.

Banff Tree Huggers

For a chick who doesn't like the cold, I loooooooooooved my trip to Banff! Total relaxation with girlfriends and 100% stress free. Now, as official tree huggers, it's time to put the log in travelog! 

Day one: I arrived late so we just had time for some shopping in town. Did I mention that town looks like an alpine village? Yodel - Ay - EEE - Oooo

The mountains are everywhere! The next day, we went to yoga (ahhhhh, finally) where the mountains greeted us from the windows of the studio. Then we went for a two hour hike on the Fenland Trail along this stream . . .

 











. . . to the Vermilion Lakes. Did I mention that it was cold? And that we were gone for two hours? It was so amazing.

I'm getting my days mixed up but I'm pretty sure we went for cocktails (I had a pear martini with cranberries floating in it!) and dinner at the Banff Springs Hotel that night. Sher was priddy.

On Day 3, my girlfriend Margaroo and I drove to Lake Louise. We stopped on the way to avoid hitting an elk. (My first elk sighting! Ever!)

At Lake Louise, we stopped to take pictures of the lake and glacier. Please note the mountain on the left . . .

Why? Because we climbed it. We didn't mean to, it just happened when we began following a path that we assumed (incorrectly) wound around the lake. On the way, we were greeted by a friendly woodsman and his wife whose hair was covered in frost and frozen to her face. He warned us of grizzly bears, told us to make a lot of noise but shared that the climb would be worth it.

He was right. The searing pain in the lungs. The way-too-many-to-count stops to catch our breath. The stunning frost covered hair that I would also acquire. All worth it for this view.

As true women of the wild (also known as idiots), we decided to take the path less traveled on our descent. We went down the side of the mountain where we followed a thin, thin track made by possibly two other non-outdoorsy morons. We could have tumbled to our deaths at any moment. At times we slid on our butts to avoid catapulting off an embankment. Yep, sher was priddy.

For Day 4 we have no pictures because we spent the entire day, eight hours!, at the Banff Springs Hotel Spa. We went to yoga (again!), got massages, swam in the lap pool, swam in the outdoors heated pool, went in/out of hot tubs (there were four or five all heated at different temps), rested in the steam room, rested in the dry sauna, rested in the eucalyptus inhalation room, rested and ate lunch in the "relaxation room," and went for a dip in the indoor mineral pool. So indulgent.

On Day 5, my last day, we drove to Invermere, British Columbia. Here we went to the hot springs, of course, where the waters are hot on one side and simply warm on the other.This is the simply warm side.

Since we were at a lower elevation, there was less snow on the ground here but, yikes, there was indeed ice on the deck (as I clearly remember because I had to stand on it to take the above picture).

And, lo and behold, the lifeguards were wearing sweatpants! Yes, sweatpants! Clearly not the best location for a scantily clad David Hasselhoff sighting.

On our way home, we stopped to enjoy the view. Wow, more mountains! Who knew? The only picture we did not take was of the "avalanche warning" sign.

Lastly, we paused briefly over the continental divide. I was in the back seat (i.e., west coast) and Margaret and Brian were in the front seat (i.e., east coast).

Alas, all good things must come to an end. For a brief moment in time, I had heaps of fun in the frigid air of Canada with my girlfriends from Australia and awesome Canadian hubby/kids!

Alone Again (Naturally)

My Myers-Briggs Profile is ENTP. And the E, for extrovert, is a strong E. Ergo, I need people around for energy. Working alone in this office for the next eight months is going to be the death of me. Facebook is my proverbial water cooler. Now, thanks to the hubby, I have a virtual team of supporters to praise me all the livelong day. I only hope they add some of the golden nuggets suggested by my old HR department.

I'm becoming my very own version of Stuart Smalley. I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.

Mountain Mama

Just got back from a glorious trip to Banff where I stayed at a friend's home on the corner of Elk and Squirrel. Seriously. You can't make this stuff up. (There's also Beaver and Cougar but they don't intersect.)

More on my life as a wild mountaineering woman later. For now, I simply bring you Elk and Squirrel.

Who Put the End in Weekend?

The weekend that got away. Oh where, oh where, have my Saturdays gone? Oh where, oh where can they be?

On Friday night, we attended the annual pumpkin carving party. Food. Wine. Bonfire. Garage filled with tables upon tables of kids and adults carving pumpkins. The event is punctuated each year with our friend Brad carving a pumpkin with a chainsaw while the votes are tabulated.

Carving with a chainsaw

A few of the many pumpkins waiting to be judged

Saturday, we stood in the chilly autumn air, covered in blankets, to watch Son #2's Little League team (finally) beat their opponents. After suffering loss upon loss, it felt so good.

And Sunday, after brunch with my girlfriends, Son #2 and I hit the batting cages. I seriously should have worn batting gloves -- I never realized how much hitting a baseball hurts your hands! Ouch.

 Next time, I'm coming prepared. And I'm taking no prisoners.

Go Public (or Go Home)

On Wednesday night, I went down with the Chinchildren to our local NPR & PBS affiliate, WXXI, to watch the Chinchillas perform live for the music series OnStage. So much fun. I hadn't been in a TV studio since I went to see one of my old bosses get interviewed on Sally Jessy Raphael (remember her?). This recent taping was clearly a much more interesting experience, to say the least.

It felt so Austin City Limits-like. Groovy baby.

Photo courtesy of (aka "stolen from") the Stan the Man's Facebook page.

Fall Haikus

Autumn Romantic
A chill in the air
Jumping in a pile of leaves
Warming by the fire

Autumn Realistic
Layered in sweaters
Fall Ball in the wind and rain
Freezing my tights off

Top Chef Junior

The other night, Son #2 and I were home alone. He asked if he could make dinner for me. Of course!

Spiral noodles, butter, black olives and fresh, grated Parmesan cheese. Simple. Delicious. Love.

While I had to help carry the heavy pot of boiling water to the colander in the sink, he did the rest. He set the table, picked out his favorite drummer candle (that my girlfriend Kim brought to him from Africa) and made me close my eyes while he was "plating" my meal. Surprise! 

Swoon. It's nice to feel so loved!

Make Believe You're In a Jungle Movie

Yesterday morning, thanks to a snafu on my boss' part and a lack of communication on my part, we had a room full of clients in Atlanta at 7:00 a.m. whereas my boss thought the meeting started an hour later (i.e., she wasn't there). I apologized profusely but my client was totally cool about it. Actually, I was so mortified that I must have apologized a hundred times.

Today, I received a box full of fresh, gourmet strawberries dipped and molded into various animal shapes, along with a note that said, "We've all had an off day, here's to today being better!"

I also liked the message on the packaging (which, of course, I botched with my unpacking and my mad photography skills).

What a really, really nice and thoughtful gesture, no?!

Work Life Balance

You know you're overworked when:

1. Your son bursts into tears and tells you how much he misses you -- and you live with him
2. You meet a friend for a quick salad/glass of chardonnay at a restaurant in your hometown -- and you feel like you're on vacation 

Flickr image from John Lam

Focus

At a meeting near Ottawa on Friday, we were told by the head of HR not to use the word "focus" in front of the team because it meant something different at their company.

F* off 'cause you're stupid.

Good to know. And particularly interesting coming from HR . . .

Mother of the Year

Yesterday, feeling overwhelmed, I started sobbing at work. Later, my computer crashed. Blue screen. "Beginning dump of physical memory." Not that there's ever a good time for that but, now? Really?

Around 7:00 p.m., on the way home, as I was losing my mind, one of my favorite songs was playing on The Zone (a station I never, ever listen to but may start now): Where is my Mind? And the bumper sticker on the truck in front of me read, "Nope to Self." What exactly does that mean?

As I pulled onto my street, I noticed my mom's car pulling into my driveway. She had gone for dinner/drinks with her girlfriends and brought with her an empty travel mug. Why? To buy a cosmopolitan for me, sneak it out of the restaurant and deliver it to my doorstep at the very moment I arrived home.

Some may call that enabling. I call that love.

Thanks mom.

Crank v. Prank

Looking for a good, harmless practical joke? Put a million items for sale on Craigslist along with your neighbor's phone number.

You can thank me later. I'm too busy right now fielding phone calls about a Chevy Suburban.

Working Class Hero

According to the wrapper on my Dove chocolate miniature, I am exactly where I am supposed to be. So much for uplifting maxims. Now I'm feeling fat AND resentful.

Canned . . . what?

"Mama, do you know what my favorite part of the day is? It's right when I get in bed to go to sleep. My arms are around monkey and he feels all warm and furry. And your arms are around me and you kiss me goodnight. It the best feeling in the world.

It's the greatest thing since canned bread."

NostraDNIS

Dear "Phil,"

While I appreciate your messages about the "huge opportunity" for me with Yahoo!, Google and Bing, can't your predictive dialer predict that no one will be in our office to answer your calls at 10:00 p.m. night after night?

Sincerely yours,

Sleeping in Suburbia

P.S. I have been channeling Miss Cleo lately and have some amazing insights for you including this: no one is interested. Give it a rest.

California Stars

Customer satisfaction survey data tabulation. Net promoter scores. Employee focus group facilitation. Screening job candidates. Travel. Email newsletters. Secondary industry research. Market size. Growth rates. Testimonial ad campaigns. Outbound telemarketing vendor sourcing. Competitive analysis. Expense reports. Financial trends across business units.

Not complaining. Just need a nap. And more hours in the day.

I'd like to rest my heavy head tonight
On a bed of California stars
I'd like to lay my weary bones tonight
On a bed of California stars

Not All Almas Mat(t)er

I got a call from my undergrad university last night and answered the phone with zero intention of giving. While I had heaps of fun there, I never learned much. (Note: Not pointing fingers at them, Lord knows.) Grad school was, thankfully, a completely different story.

The girl on the phone said to me, "We're really appreciative of any small amount that you can give and we're still grateful for the $10 you gave in 1990."

Holy crap! How embarrassing, right? A mere $10 over 20 years ago? What a cheapskate!

Oddly enough, I remember giving that year -- including exactly where I took the call. (I was standing at my kitchen sink in a red farmhouse that house I rented on Jefferson Road. Weird to remember that, right?) The guy who called told me that any amount would help offset the costs of great student events and cited a free Psychedelic Furs concert that I had attended. Ka-ching! We actually chatted about bands for awhile: for me, a winning strategy. In his case, it paid to do his homework (albeit a pittance).

Every telemarketing campaign should play off people's interests (e.g., music) or weaknesses (e.g., shame, lack of honor) this successfully. In my case, providing hard data and a timeline to show precisely how long it had been since my hard heart opened roughly one tenth of one percent and abruptly closed again.

I'm a rotter.

I just hope that overwhelmingly generous $50 given last night goes far over the next four score and twenty years . . .

Yeah for me!

Adorkable

Son #2 (squeezing his balding, stuffed monkey): You are soooooo adorable.

Son #1: More like "adorkable."

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey . . .

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

This week I went to Son #1's middle school for open house and hustled from class to class following his schedule and meeting his teachers. My the times they are a-changin'!

The teachers all wear mics around their necks and their voices are piped through speakers across the ceiling so that even when the teacher has his/her back to the classroom, for example while writing on the board, the sound is clearly audible. Nothing distracting.

And just when I thought the smart boards were cool, the kids now have handheld remotes by which they answer questions in class (like the audience voting in Who Wants to be a Millionaire) and the results can be displayed real-time via charts. Pop quizzes are automatically calculated and uploaded into the "infinite campus" where I can review my son's grades whenever I want: monthly, daily, minute-by-minute.

The teachers give out their cell phone numbers and students call or text them with questions. My teachers were never that accessible. And to the best of my knowledge, my teachers never had first names, did they? (Except the nuns: they never had last names.)

What else? The school is structured around a set of Core Values including kindness, respect, caring, integrity and justice. Not only are these values painted around the school, they're incorporated in the grading system. In gym, you don't have to be a super athlete to get an A. You have to try hard and behave in accordance with the value system. Pretty impressive.

Lastly, speaking of gym, it isn't just traditional sports like swimming, soccer and relay races. Last year, the kids staged a flash mob. What the ? We certainly never did that!

I have to say, I think Son #1 has found his element. The freedom to pursue what he wants and have fun. Pretty darned cool.

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through

Dishap Defined

We've been playing this game in the evenings lately where I repeatedly throw an inflatable ball toward the back door and the kids try to block it from hitting. Or I throw it into the air and the kids have to dive for the couch and catch it before it lands. Except when we knock a lamp over or cause items to fall from the mantle, there are usually a few funny plays that make us laugh.

In the midst of the mayhem the other night, Son #2 said, "Stop laughing at my dishaps." We asked him, "What's a dishap?" and he responded, "It's a mishap and a disability."

Puhlease. The only person in our house with any physical limitations is me. Just ask the ceiling fan/light fixture how it felt after I smashed it to pieces with the Shake Weight. Maybe I should only be allowed to play outdoors. Better yet, maybe I should stick to reading books; leave the activities to the pros.

Steve Madden NFL

And now for a new addition to the list of things that I never thought I'd have to say:
"Don't chase your brother while he's wearing high heels."

Strangers with Candy

Yesterday, a delivery man stopped by with a large package from one of our vendors. As he stood there, I opened it and (like an ingrate) said, "I really don't need any of this crap." He noted the bag of cookies on top and responded, "My grandmother taught me never to turn down chocolate chip cookies."

Me: Oh really? Would you like some cookies??

Him: No thanks.

Apparently someone isn't heeding grandma's advice. This clearly falls in the "save your marketing dollars for someone who cares" category. Between designing, printing, sourcing, picking, packing, shipping and delivering -- what a colossal waste of money. The irony of it all was the 96 page, four-color, bound "we mean green" insert. Put your money where your mouth is? Oh well. Time for some cookies.

IHOP

Q: Is it strange that our son pulls his pants down, bends over, pretends his cute, little, naked butt is talking and calls said talking butt "Dr. Waffles"?

A: Not in our house. Nope, not strange at all.

Oh, oh, oh, oh Wilco

What's on the docket this weekend?

Why a quick trip across the lake to Toronto with my girlfriend Yams to see Nick Lowe and Wilco. Hey, that rhymes! Oh, oh, oh, oh Nick Lowe.

Watching the Detectives

I arrived at work this morning to find my usually locked door slightly ajar. And by slightly ajar, I mean completely smashed off the door frame.

Pretty subtle, eh? The perp (I never get to use that term!) used our water bottle in the hallway as a battering ram. Clever, right?

Me, not being fully awake at 7:00 a.m., thought the following: Hmmm, why is our water bottle on the ground? Wow, did I leave the door unlocked last night? What is that mess on the floor?

I continued to walk into my office where I noticed my laptop unplugged and moved. Odd, right? Ohhhhhhhhhh, wait a minute . . .

None too quick.

Of course, I immediately called the police. The dispatcher asked if anyone else was there. "Nope, the entire parking lot and garage are empty." Just then I heard footsteps. "Oh, I take that back, I hear someone upstairs."

Her response, "Get outside and away from the building right now." (The killer is in the house!)

So the cops came, looked around, took fingerprints and heaps of photos, asked oodles of questions about ex-coworkers/marital status/disputes and left. Now I'm sitting here alone waiting for someone from the building management to fix my door; otherwise, I cannot leave to go anywhere. No clients today anyway but now no errands. No library research. No nothing.

Super sleuth that I am, I did mention to the officers how the alarm did, in fact, say "burglary in progress" when I turned it off this morning. However, it says that almost every day. So often that they disconnected the alarm from the 911 system. I also mentioned how the door to the front lawn was wide open. Also a daily event. What none of us noticed was the hallway window open or the footprints in the side yard leading to my window. Scary . . .

When we packed up the office and moved everything to Denver last week, I didn't think there would be so many fun and fabulous events in store for me. Sure, my friend Charlie -- who is suddenly alone in an office in Baltimore -- and I joked about naked Skype-ing (time to go on the diet!) but never did I imagine I could be all alone with danger. Danger! Lucky me.

What's freaky is that nothing was taken. Aborted attempt? Someone messing with me? 

I guess this means I should leave before it gets dark every night. Always an upside!