Focus

At a meeting near Ottawa on Friday, we were told by the head of HR not to use the word "focus" in front of the team because it meant something different at their company.

F* off 'cause you're stupid.

Good to know. And particularly interesting coming from HR . . .

Adorkable

Son #2 (squeezing his balding, stuffed monkey): You are soooooo adorable.

Son #1: More like "adorkable."

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey . . .

Dishap Defined

We've been playing this game in the evenings lately where I repeatedly throw an inflatable ball toward the back door and the kids try to block it from hitting. Or I throw it into the air and the kids have to dive for the couch and catch it before it lands. Except when we knock a lamp over or cause items to fall from the mantle, there are usually a few funny plays that make us laugh.

In the midst of the mayhem the other night, Son #2 said, "Stop laughing at my dishaps." We asked him, "What's a dishap?" and he responded, "It's a mishap and a disability."

Puhlease. The only person in our house with any physical limitations is me. Just ask the ceiling fan/light fixture how it felt after I smashed it to pieces with the Shake Weight. Maybe I should only be allowed to play outdoors. Better yet, maybe I should stick to reading books; leave the activities to the pros.

Mots D'Heures: Gousses, Rames

In yesterday's blog, I wrote, "Time to put everything back together again" which reminded me of poor little Humpty Dumpty. Humpty Dumpty, in turn, reminded me of an English-to-French homophonic translation that my languages teacher in High School shared with our class and I've never forgotten.

Un petit d'un petit
S'étonne aux Halles
Un petit d'un petit
Ah! degrés te fallent
Indolent qui ne sort cesse
Indolent qui ne se mène
Qu'importe un petit d'un petit
Tout Gai de Reguennes

This, in turn, reminded me of a small, weathered, paperback collection of nursery rhymes that my dad had when I was young. It contained a German homophonic translation of Little Bo Peep that went something like "Leiter Bo Piepen bin losen der schepen."

I wonder what ever happened to that little book? Even Google, the font of all knowledge, has no such entry. A one-of-a-kind family *heirloom* gone missing! I'm sure it would bring at least $1 on the Antiques Roadshow or Pawn Stars and would fall in the "at that nominal value, I think I'll hold onto it" category.

Somehow methinks it ended up in a giant dumpster never to be seen again.

If wishes were horses.

I Give Up

Recently overheard: "He put the 'can do' in can-douchebag."