Fly the Unfriendly Skies

As a constant living-the-brand fanatic, I have to post about a recent experience on a United Airlines flight from IAD to ORD last Thursday. When I boarded, Maurice -- the famous-in-certain-circles dude from the United safety video (everyone who flies would recognize him, I swear) -- and two of his counterparts were seated in the row immediately in front of me. Even though they were passengers, they all wore their United uniforms complete with yellow striping on the shoulders. Fame in our midst!

At the end of the flight, as we were descending to O'Hare, the father seated next to me pulled a travel bag out from under the seat in front of him, gathered his two little daughters' electronics, dolls and books from across the aisle and started packing. Without prompting, the United employee seated directly in front of him totally freaked out and laid into him about bumping his seat. The dad quietly apologized and explained that he was just trying to pack his kids' stuff before landing. The United employee angrily responded, "Don't hit my seat again."

I was oddly shaken. Sure, I don't know what's going on in this guy's life. Maybe he has long-standing anger management issues or possibly he's just having a difficult time right now.  But a lashing like that from anyone, especially someone in uniform, is totally unmerited.

As we stood to deplane, I fully expected this guy to apologize. Something along the lines of, "I'm really sorry about my outburst. I've had a rough day and didn't mean to take it out on you" would have gone a long way to repairing the incident. Instead, he just walked away. I also hoped that Maurice, a somewhat high profile brand ambassador, would have had the dignity, integrity and chops to speak up.

United breaks more than guitars -- they break all the rules of brand and social etiquette. So much for the Friendly Skies.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

This week I went to Son #1's middle school for open house and hustled from class to class following his schedule and meeting his teachers. My the times they are a-changin'!

The teachers all wear mics around their necks and their voices are piped through speakers across the ceiling so that even when the teacher has his/her back to the classroom, for example while writing on the board, the sound is clearly audible. Nothing distracting.

And just when I thought the smart boards were cool, the kids now have handheld remotes by which they answer questions in class (like the audience voting in Who Wants to be a Millionaire) and the results can be displayed real-time via charts. Pop quizzes are automatically calculated and uploaded into the "infinite campus" where I can review my son's grades whenever I want: monthly, daily, minute-by-minute.

The teachers give out their cell phone numbers and students call or text them with questions. My teachers were never that accessible. And to the best of my knowledge, my teachers never had first names, did they? (Except the nuns: they never had last names.)

What else? The school is structured around a set of Core Values including kindness, respect, caring, integrity and justice. Not only are these values painted around the school, they're incorporated in the grading system. In gym, you don't have to be a super athlete to get an A. You have to try hard and behave in accordance with the value system. Pretty impressive.

Lastly, speaking of gym, it isn't just traditional sports like swimming, soccer and relay races. Last year, the kids staged a flash mob. What the ? We certainly never did that!

I have to say, I think Son #1 has found his element. The freedom to pursue what he wants and have fun. Pretty darned cool.

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through

Right Wing Morphing?

At some point last year on my drive home from work, I was listening to Pastor's Perspective, a Christian radio show, when a female listener called in and stated that her ex-boyfriend -- with whom she had remained good friends -- was getting married. She not only thought that attending the ceremony was inappropriate but she also felt that she should honor his marriage by cutting all ties. She was asking for feedback.

The pastor not only agreed with her but went on to state that men and women who are married to others should not even lunch together . . .

I was shocked and felt the answer was extreme. Not only do I have the occasional meeting with a male client in a public place, I have guy friends from childhood, high school, college, grad school and various jobs who I still see from time-to-time. Not as much as I would like but life is busy. Rarely, however, does the hubby join us mainly because he doesn't want to hear a bunch of reminiscing about a time when he wasn't present.

And my friendships aren't limited to cocktails, dinner or lunch. I have gone skiing in Colorado for a week with some of the guys I went to college with and just last year drove to Maine for a wedding with my friend Kevin who lives in Syracuse. Plain and simple fact: It was fun to spend time together and sad that it took a wedding to get us together given that we live an hour from one another. That's life.

My hubby also has female friends who he visits or goes to the movies with. I have no concerns.

But I do continue to ponder that advice. Initially I thought, "Well that's goofy. If it's completely innocent and all parties are trustworthy, what's the issue?" but as I continue to think long and hard, I'm now beginning to ask myself, "Do I really need to see my guy friends one-on-one?"

The logical answer is "yes" because the hubby doesn't want to come along and would be miserable if forced. And we would have to get a sitter to watch the kids or enlist my mom's help. And the fact is that 99.9999% of the time, I've never been hit on. But every once in a while, I get a random comment that I either choose to ignore or laugh off -- and one recent email from a close friend who I grew up with (who I like immensely) that I had to address head-on. As a result, I started asking myself, "Am I unnecessarily putting myself in compromising situations?"

Certainly there's something we can all do together (e.g., dinner with spouses and kids) that doesn't involve talking about the past. There are plenty of current topics that are much more interesting. But that assumes the guys are married; a few are not. Then what? Get a group together to go out? Sounds reasonable to me.

Egads, maybe I'm just becoming ultraconservative. The bottom line is: How can I honor my marriage without negating the friendships that I value?

As Sonic Youth says, "I just want you to know that we can still be friends."

Just in a group.