Big Night Out

I heard on the radio this morning that Snooki from Jersey Shore was in town last night promoting herself at Woody's. The chick who called into the program said that Snooki spent less than 10 minutes at the bar, didn't speak with anyone, was upset that there were so many people in the VIP room, left, returned for another five minutes and that was it.

My thoughts:

• I want a television show! One that allows me to be devoid of all talents yet pays well. I'll even keep my underwear on. (Promise.) And I'll try not to get punched in the face. (Fingers crossed.)
  
• If I had a television show, I would be so grateful for anyone who came, nay paid, to see me on my world tour of dive bars that I would smile continuously, give big hugs and thank them profusely for watching. Then I would do a shot with them. Why not?
  
• I would rather be the host of Three Sheets than a cast member of Jersey Shore. Either way, I would be out boozing it up every episode; however, Three Sheets would enable me to travel, check out myriad different types of bars and avoid the perpetually tanned, weight lifting, machismo men that Snooki has to endure. 
• Before Jersey Shore, I thought "I've never met a beach I didn't like." (Better yet: I got 99 problems but the beach ain't one. Hit me!) Alas, I was wrong. I would rather be beachless on Three Sheets than anywhere within 10 miles of wherever they film Jersey Shore. 
• I'm concerned that my Yankees hats/caps are now associated with penultimate douchebaggery. Do I have to become a Mets fan after all of these years? 

Now I'm trying to figure out what my new TV show should be. Three Sheets is clearly taken. No Reservations is not only taken but nobody can do it as well as Anthony Bourdain. Same for Top Gear -- but, boy, are they having some fun in life. I don't think I would have a large audience if I traveled throughout the world to religious shrines and sites (especially if I'm boozing). What does that leave me with?

Here's what I'm thinking: how about a night out somewhere uber-trendy or interesting with someone famous? Kind of like the weekly A night out with column in the "Style" section of the Sunday New York Times but fun and interactive. With cocktails. First up: John Cusack. Followed immediately by David Bowie, Zooey Deschanel, John Oliver, etc.

I would be living the dream of middle aged housewives worldwide!

A girl can dream, right?

Ave Maria

In my quest to make 2010 the "Year in Miracles," I attended Catholic church on New Year's Day with my mom to kick-off the new year in style. Who, outside of those in Vatican circles, knew that it would be dedicated to the the Blessed Virgin Mary? Certainly not I. (Probably my mother.)

The experience made me reflect on a conversation I had over dinner with my evangelical church going, kismet girlfriends during which one friend was visibly upset about her cousin praying to the saints (given that it's a form of idolatry).

I started mulling over how we can pray directly to Christ but we often ask our friends to pray for us, too. Isn't that what Catholics are doing when saying the Hail Mary? Asking for intercession on our behalf? Pray for us sinners now and at the time of our death.

Not exactly. The difference is: they're dead.

Can the dead hear our prayers? And pray for us?

Given that I haven't the first clue about what I'm even writing here on this topic, I found a book that looked like an interesting Protestant take on the matter: The Lure of Saints: A Protestant Experience of Catholic Tradition. I've only just begun reading but, so far, it seems to be a very evenly weighted, deeply faith-based approach to the important role saints play in Catholicism tempered with some of the more troubling aspects of devotion to them.

Akin to increasing my knowledge of the faith while sponsoring my girlfriend Misty to become a Catholic a few years back, this book is leading me to a greater appreciation of my upbringing in the church. (Writing it must have done the same for the author as he has a blog called Almost Catholic and apparently joined the church in 2009.)

So, in honor of saintly trinkets, would it be in bad taste to wear this belt sold by Rochester's own Lucky Nahum at Always Get Lucky? I thought it was kind of cute and not at all sinful . . .

What I heard on the radio this morning (thank you Jennifer V!):


What I'm humming now:

A Life of Joy and Peace

My girlfriend's "Aunt Dolly" died last week. She wasn't just a peripheral figure, she played a major part in raising the entire family -- taking three of the four daughters into her home in the burbs when their section of the city became too wild and woolly to attend school safely. She also took in a million of their friends and/or random strangers (including traveling "hippies from CA") and gave them tea, dinner and a place to sleep as frequently, and as long, as needed.

Even at 96, she was the center of every party (as are her nieces, no surprise) and never, in the 20+ years that I've been friends with these women, have I been to one of their parties, or to a mutual friend's party, where Aunt Doll hasn't been present. Until Saturday afternoon, that is.

Fittingly, her eulogy on Saturday morning was, by far, the most wonderful tribute I have ever heard. I cannot do it justice here because I'm sure I'll get the wording wrong and obviously cannot replicate the voice/tone in which it was delivered but I have never laughed so hard at a funeral in my life or cried buckets of tears of happiness for a life well lived. She deserved the best.

The theme of her eulogy was that she was not cut from the same cloth as many of us. She didn't gossip, was not judgmental, always made room for friends and had a heart as big as Denver. Apparently she constantly broke out into song, too, which I never knew before but now wish I had. Simpatico! Her favorites? Amazing Grace (me too!) and Achy Breaky Heart (hey, she was old). She also loved, more than anything, to go to church. A woman after my own heart.

The best part of the tribute was when Anthony, my girlfriend's husband, said something akin to the following in his deep, oratorical voice. (Although his version was much better, I captured the essence, I hope.)

"When the girls asked me to give the eulogy, I said, 'No problem; piece of cake.' I guarantee any one of you could come up here and say fabulous things about Aunt Dolly. But here's what's noteworthy: I bet not one of you could think of anything bad to say about her. Now that's something to celebrate! Think about that for a moment. Better yet, let's test the concept.

We'll start with me. I'm sure there are those of you out there who would call me an accomplished man (Note: He's an M.D.). A spiritual man even. Others, on the other hand, might say I'm a pompous ass.

What about my lovely wife? Passionate personality; life of the party! Yes. But many of you might also say, 'loose cannon.'

My brother-in-law? You may call him an excellent multitasker who is able to accomplish more in one day than the rest of us in a week. I say 'classic case of ADD.'

How about Tom here? While some may say, 'Brilliant man. Well versed in many, diverse areas,' others would say, 'Unfettered hedonist.'

Now try it on Aunt Dolly. See? There's only one side of the equation: warm, happy, non-judgmental and loving."

That snippet only scratches the surface of what was said that day. What a fabulous send-off. And all true. I cannot think of one negative thing I could even dream to say or think about her.

That's how life should be lived -- and how death should be celebrated. We'll miss you Aunt Doll.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

Like it's 1999

On our way into church this morning, I said, "I'm so tired. I shouldn't have stayed up so late partying."

Son #1 responded, "Uh, I wouldn't exactly call that 'partying.' You sat on the couch all night talking to your girlfriends."

"We weren't just talking; we also finished off an entire pitcher of sangria."

"Still mom, the definition of partying includes activities."

Up next: beer pong?

Clientbook

I think Facebook should branch out into Clientbook. That way, whenever a client is touched (so to speak), the person in the organization who spoke/met with the client can update the status.

Bob: "Just spoke with the lead engineer. Putting in formal change control request and updating the statement of work."

Then anyone in the company can get an immediate, qualitative dashboard of all client-facing activity and further click on any one client for a deeper dive.

I've been working with so many client tools and systems over the years but nothing I've seen is as quick and immediate as Facebook.

Just a thought.

Body on Tarp

It takes a lot for me to like any of today's advertising (except for the Weezer Snuggie, of course); however, the following commercial, that I saw on TV yesterday, is an exception. While its origin may have been as a spoof, its point is extremely well taken. And it's funny. Gotta love that!



At the rate I'm going, I'll need a body tarp soon. Alas, no Crunch gym near me.

Meliora Monday

When we were both grad students at the U of R, my girlfriend Marg asked me what "meliora," the University motto, meant.

I responded, "It's Latin for mediocrity."

My extensive knowledge of Latin could, both then and now, be boiled down to a) the few Latin roots that I knew which formed commonly used words in English and b) the English translation of the tune "Dona Nobis Pacem" that we sang ad nauseam (ah, see what I did there?) during choir practice under the tutelage of the famed Harold McAuliffe. Give us peace.

I am now pleased to inform myself (because you probably already knew) that meliora, in fact, means "Always better." Hmmm, how much more fitting, inspirational and beautifully poetic. I learned this not through an active Google search but rather from the online viewing of a collection of beautiful photos of the University of Rochester entitled, Photo Friday, which contains a Meliora photo.

Although it's not as visually stunning as some of the others, my favorite is the image captured below that was taken by Jessica Stoll (a PhD candidate in Political Science). It reminds me of walking through that same cavernous hallway with my mom when I was younger and taking dance classes at the university. Every week, those walls would have a fresh coat of paint and graffiti and, as a kid, I thought it was just a little bit scary.

It also reminds me of the first time I discovered that same dungenous, rank passageway as a grad student and immediately flashed back to an aspect of my childhood that I had all but forgotten. Never in a million years could I have envisioned the day, possibly 20 years later, when I would be back on campus as an MBA student. Wow. From expressive, modern dance movements to game theory. 

Certainly different but . . . always better?