Laundry Lug

Years ago I designed a laundry "bag" that I wanted. This week, I searched and searched for my illustrations but could not find them . . . not that it matters anyway. I was clearly not moving forward with my idea. But just because I never got my act together doesn't mean someone else can't take this idea and run with it.

I'm sure I'm going to miss some critical details; however, in a nutshell, the premise is this. Across college campuses and in major cities throughout the U.S. (and beyond), people lug giant sacks of laundry to the laundry room. For all intents and purposes, these sacks have not changed much over the last 30 years. In other words, they still pretty much suck. So, in my humble opinion, there is a large, existing market in desperate need for a better mousetrap so to speak. And, in all of its glory, this market has thousands of new entrants year-on-year of college freshman or people who move to the "big city." A built-in, ongoing revenue stream.

And, yes, the current model is broken. When the hubby and I lived in NYC, we would often lug our giant bags of laundry over a block away -- sometimes in the cold rain or snow -- to our neighborhood laundromat so we could avoid spending hours running up and down the stairs in our building to use the few, often broken, machines. We could also avoid competing with the aggressive people in our building who would hover like vultures waiting to pounce on the machine the minute it stopped and place someone else's wet clothes on top of the machine to grow cold. It was dog-eat-dog and defied civility.

However, at the laundromat, we would fold our clean clothes yet be forced to then stack them in these same, grotty old bags only to return home with everything in wrinkles.

So, who cares? I did. Why couldn't someone invent a laundry bag based on the simplicity of the rolling suitcase? It could fit in the closet like a hamper and be expandable (i.e., able to be pulled upright along its spine) as it fills. It could zipper both around the top and down the front. Why? So that, when your clothes were clean, dry and folded, you could unzip the front, take the shelves that were neatly stacked on the floor of this so-called laundry lug, pull them up the spine, latch them into place and voila: a built-in shelving unit that keeps nicely folded clothes wrinkle free.

Perhaps it could be made of a lightweight, waterproof, neoprene material. Perhaps it could have a pretty, inner liner that could be removed and washed. Most certainly it would have external pockets to house a) detergent, b) fabric softener sheets, c) quarters, d) cell phone, e) a book, and f) apartment keys. So many times I was stuck carrying all of this crap while lugging my laundry. Not so easy. I'm not known for my strength.

Lastly, it would also have a handle that allows you to wheel it easily from an upright position. And from this handle, you can hang hangers. Yes, wash your shirts and hang them as you wheel them home -- again, wrinkle free.

This laundry lug sounds expensive. And it should be. I think it's worth every penny. Could it be branded with each college logo and sold for more? Probably. Could it be branded with a laundromat name as well? Sure. But I think there's a more lucrative alternative.

Much akin to the kate spade diaper bag being the hit of the early 90's, this could be the next big kate spade branded product. The kate spade laundry lug. People pay handsomely for perceived luxury names -- including $465 for the "classic noel henry baby bag" that's currently on their site. I think it's due time for another major hit from their collection.

One could argue that anyone who can afford such a luxury is not the same person who is lugging his or her laundry to the laundromat but I would beg to differ. There are a million and one people who carried that diaper bag who should have spent their money elsewhere. They simply liked the brand caché. I believe the same holds true for this audience with one major exception: This product is truly needed!

Please, to whomever is in product development at kate spade, make my year. Although I may not be in your target market anymore, my niece and nephew are! I'll gladly be your first customer.

My Dream Job

Wouldn't it be fabulous to travel the world, a la Anthony Bourdain, eating amazing meals at all of the consummate (but not necessarily upscale) restaurants in each locale? To spend your life enjoying the best that life has to offer? And make heaps of money in the process?

The fact that Anthony is an avowed Ramones fan is just icing on the cake. As Mr. Burns would say, "I like the cut of his jib."

Given that he already owns that niche, I want to claim the same format but cater to those seeking spiritual adventure. I won't get to booze it up nearly as much (well, on camera that is) but I could take viewers to places where filming is rarely allowed. And not to spas and resorts -- which are always highlighted on travel programs -- but to lesser known ashrams, Siberian shamans, and Tibetan nunneries.

Would I love to visit Bhutan? You bet. But I could also share places closer to home like the Abbey of the Genesee where 30+ contemplative (a.k.a. Trappist) monks reside and offer monastic-style retreats throughout the year. Or Rochester's own Zen Center where my girlfriend and I spent one of the best days of our lives in an introductory workshop on zazen meditation.

I guarantee that in every city across America, as well as villages and towns throughout the world, there is something awe-inspiring to showcase. And I'm just the right person to share it with you! Come on Travel Channel, make my dreams come true.

Know Your Audience

One of my SVPs at Amex once presented to a large crowd of bigwigs including Harvey Golub who was CEO at the time. He began his presentation by pointing to a large gap between himself and the audience and saying, "What's this? The corporate mosh pit?" No one laughed. He came back dismayed and said, "You should always warm people up with a story or a joke but lesson learned -- know your audience."

I was reminded of this on Christmas Eve when, in the middle of the children's pageant at church, a blinding white light came on overhead. I turned to the guy next to me, who was seated with his family, and said, "Last call." He responded, "Pardon?" and, like a moron, I repeated myself.

Yep, nothing funnier than barroom humor during a Christmas service.

My Favorite Word

One of my brother's best friends, Tony, is British. I've heard a number of hilarious stories about this guy since he and my brother met but the following observation (paraphrased below) has not only far surpassed all of the interesting tidbits that I've gleaned from William Safire's On Language over the years but also helped me to define my favorite word.

"The English language has so many beautiful plural nouns like a gaggle of geese, a pack of wolves, a litter of kittens, and a yoke of oxen but you Americans have synthesized them all into one comprehensive word. 'Honey, look! There's a sh*tload of deer in the yard.' "

Merry Christmas!

It all began at 6:38 a.m. and ended less than half an hour of mayhem later . . . Now we have a full day of PlayStation 2 fun ahead of us including Guitar Hero, DragonballZ, Godzilla Unleased, The Simpsons, Ace Combat 5 and, for me, Dance Dance Revolution! Yeah baby. Maybe 2008 will be the year of the DDR weight loss regimen. But first I have to eat and drink my way through continued holiday overindulgence on these Pottery Barn plates from Ruth!

I got sooooo many fabulous jewelry-related pressies from family members that I'm not sure which is my favorite. I now have my sixth (!) Annie Adams necklace and first bracelet from her collection. I also have a gorgeous aqua blue necklace from the Corning Museum of Glass and a set of clear acrylic jewelry (ring, necklace and bracelet) from Volpino embedded with dozens of tiny embedded Swarovski crystals that my sister purchased from my favorite consignment shop, Windsor Cottage. Oh, and I got a sweet Christmas-themed green glass beaded bracelet hand-painted with reindeer and candy canes from my neighbor, Liz.

I should be all set for the next 12 months, at least! Per usual, stunningly adorned . . .

Oh and I now have this gorgeous, chocolate brown Lug Puddle Jumper overnight and gym bag. I either need to begin working out or taking a lot of trips. Hmmm, which sounds more appealing?

I hope everyone has a blessed Merry Christmas, remembers our Savior on this day (and beyond) and makes out like a bandit, too.

In closing, and in stark contrast to the crass commercialism listed above, the impassioned refrain from the most beautiful Christmas song ever penned, Oh Holy Night:

Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born

What I REALLY Want for Christmas

Santa, you listening? I feel like a few "she shoots, she scores" or "two minutes in the box for roughing" or "game misconduct" or "hank-y panky" jokes are here somewhere but it's like shooting ducks in a barrel. The man behind the mask . . .

I just hope John Cusack doesn't mind.

Something for the Girl with Everything

Yea! Today is my 43rd birthday. And it's a Saturday and I don't have to work. In fact, with the exception of one half-day meeting, some prep time and some catch-up work, I have off until January 2. Whoo hoo.

I plan to sink into the couch for days in my pajamas eating bushels of Fritos and drinking egg nog (with alcohol). And I also hope to finally take advantage of the gift cards I got a year ago for an enzyme facial at one local yoga studio, breathe, and a massage from another fabulous little studio, Blue Lotus.

I also won a $500 gift certificate last spring from our local Ethan Allen that I cannot wait to use. Not sure it will buy anything outright but it could put a little dent on this!


Everything is going my way. Happy Birthday to me!