My Eulogy

I just went through the 3.5 years of this blog and deleted most of my work-related rants. Why? Partly because I'm very appreciative of this job (which is also well documented) but mainly because it's hurtful. And, while my readers are limited to a few friends and family, I don't want to be that person who intentionally or unintentionally hurts someone's feelings. It amounted to 13 posts over the past 46 months (i.e., roughly one per quarter). In hindsight, not too bad, after all.

The other morning I had coffee with a headhunter who bills himself as a connector. He wanted to meet with me to discuss a business idea he's hatching. Somehow in the course of our conversation, he asked what I wanted said about me during my eulogy. Nothing business-related, I assured him. (Man, could she produce. Have you seen her spreadsheets?)

The topic came up again later that same day when I had lunch with my favorite pastor. He said it's a topic in the bestseller and major snooze fest (my add), The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. To live a noteworthy life, you basically start with the end in mind. For example, he said that he hopes people will always recognize him as someone who truly cared for others. Nice.

But what's my end goal? The question keeps rolling and rolling around with the tumbleweed in my brain.

Yesterday, my mom and I went to my uncle's funeral. His eulogy was centered around his larger-than-life personality, ability to live life to its fullest and can-do personality. He focused his approach to life around a single question: Is it the right thing to do? and, if the answer was "yes," he would say, "then do it."

I have no such defining principles. Or, if I do, I'm not sure they're earmarked as mine and/or shared readily with others.

What would others say at my funeral? She was so busy, I barely saw her anymore? That probably would not be stated aloud. Maybe people would say that I'm nice. Or sometimes funny. A good mom. All of these are good things but they're not strong differentiators.

Who am I? More importantly, what positive mark should I be attempting to imprint on my children? I don't have the answer yet but I'm glad to be posing the question.