Surprise Visitors

Over 20 years ago, my sister and I took a water aerobics class at the YMCA. During one class, we were in the pool for little while when it suddenly felt like there was something rather large and uninvited in my bathing suit. I whispered to my sister but I wasn’t sure what to do about it. Worse than having a fuzz ball on your eyelash that you can see but cannot seem to rid yourself of, I had an intruder between my spandex and skin but couldn’t imagine what it was. I asked myself, should I ignore it until class is over? Or, better yet, should I stick my hand nonchalantly into my crotch in the middle of class and see what’s in there? The answer to the latter question was, somehow, “yes.” Of course you can stick your hand down there while in public . . . why not?

So I did. And what did I pull out? A toilet bolt cap – the heavy, porcelain kind that covers the bolts at the base of the toilet. I showed it to my sister and we began laughing our heads off. With everyone looking at us now, I didn’t know what to do with it. So I just kept doing my exercises with it in my hand. To this day, I wonder, how on God’s green earth did it get in there without my noticing?

Hmmm, what (you may ask) made me think of this just now? Well, yesterday morning as I undressed to get into the tub, a package of Smarties flew out of my cute little pink leopard underwear and onto the bathroom floor. Once again, what the . . .? How . . . ?

Another surprise visit from the lingerie fairy, apparently. My how I’ve missed her.