Stupidity

A few weeks ago, my brother sent me an article from Scientific American entitled, “The Secret to Raising Smart Kids,” which states, in a nutshell, that the key to success in school and life isn’t intelligence or ability but drive (i.e., a focus on effort and achievement).

The article goes on to say that parents actually do a disservice to their kids when they tell them that they’re smart because intelligence becomes an innate and fixed belief which “makes them see challenges, mistakes and even the need to exert effort as threats to their ego rather than as opportunities to improve. And it causes them to lose confidence and motivation when the work is no longer easy for them.” Longer term, this leads to managers/employees who discourage constructive criticism, don’t value feedback and don’t see themselves as works-in-progress
(i.e., learning and growing).

I keep thinking about these findings as I watch my kids attempt to learn how to play guitar, tie their shoes, rollerblade in the kitchen, etc. And I talk about success with them when they’re reluctant to try new things out of fear of failure. I’ve begun trying to get them to change their phraseology from “I’m not good at ice skating” to “I’m not good at ice skating – yet.” Subtle difference but I hope it gets them into a lifelong mode of striving.

Then, last weekend, I picked up a December copy of the New York Times Magazine that was headed to the recycling bin and read an article entitled, “Quitting Can Be Good for You” which cites research that “suggests that success — or more specifically, the persistence required to achieve hard-to-reach goals — may not be worth it.” Specifically, “teenage girls who are unable to disengage themselves from trying to attain hard-to-reach goals exhibited increased levels of the inflammatory molecule C-reactive protein (C.R.P.), which in adults is linked with diabetes, heart disease and early aging.”

Huh. So what’s it going to be?

As W.C. Fields is quoted as saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”

Or, more vividly, as the December page from the Despair calendar that my sister gave to me (which hangs proudly next to my desk at work), depicts, “Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.”