Pow! Bang! Crash!

I just received a package of financial statements that my client rendered in Comic Sans. It's a bit hard to take a P&L seriously when it's coming from Wolverine.

Maybe I'll design my bar charts out of hearts (where trending is favorable) or possibly employ some sad emoticons (where the data appears less advantageous).

It's best to know your audience.

Fashion Challenge

I was thinking of attempting to buy my clothes for next 12 months from only one fashion-backward, mall store, like Sears or JCPenney, to see what I could come up with. I thought that, over the course of the year, I would possibly a) save some money due to the dearth of options, b) look absolutely heinous even by local standards (or lack thereof), or c) rise to the challenge and throw some *great* looks together on the fly.

Then I ran across the Winter '09 collection by Juliette Hogan (via Down & Out Chic). So pretty!

Professional yet feminine, the look above consists only of a simple cardigan, pencil skirt and blouse in muted colors. Shouldn't be too hard to replicate, right?

So I decided to compare against the online Sears catalog to see if they had anything remotely of that caliber.



Wow! A lime green, short-sleeved suit with white buttons and contrasting stitching? You betcha.

This could be fun.

Functional Silos

Yesterday, I offhandedly said to my co-worker Jenn, "I've been eating my Lean Cuisine every day for weeks with a spoon 'cause I'm too lazy to go out and buy more forks."

She replied, "OMG! I've been eating my soup everyday with a fork because I ran out of spoons."

Pretty friggin' stoooopid for two women who consult with organizations on communication, teamwork and process optimization.

Ageless Beauty

According to a recently published study revealing the secrets* to looking younger, I'm hosed.

Bad news: Sun, smoking, alcohol and stress can add years to your face

Good news: Additional weight fills in and softens wrinkles

As a stressed out, cocktail imbibing, ex-smoker with a strong proclivity toward sunny beaches and/or hammocks, I'm not poised well. Once again, there goes my modeling career. However, as luck would have it, I can somewhat offset the effects of aging simply by continuing to overeat. Yay!

Bring on the cupcakes!

*Are any of these illuminating research findings really a surprise?

H1NE1?

Son #1 was reading a library book last night on wizardry and decided to read my palm. Not that I believe in this stuff but my lifeline fades and splinters mid-palm for a good quarter of an inch, regains strength and continues until it reaches my wrist. Since I'm quickly rounding the age bend toward 45, I'm thinking I've gotta be entering the fractured, mid-palm stage of life right now.

And given that I've been sick with what I'm calling "the plague" for over five weeks and, once again, have tissues stuck up my nose today at work (i.e., stunningly gorgeous, as always), I'm thinking this is the beginning of the end. Or at least the beginning of the prolonged "life support season" of my apparently fragile-but-lengthy existence.

Thankfully with all of the (justified?) pandemic paranoia going around these days, my kids have really long, thick, lifelines. I just pray to God every night that they remain safe, healthy, happy and filled with wisdom to make the right choices in life -- especially if I'm no longer around as God continues thinning the herd.

On a related age note, we watched the Wanda Sykes HBO special over the weekend. She, too, is 45 years old and makes a few great jokes about her aging body (and her bulging midsection's demands for bread and alcohol). Sounds familiar. She even delivered the following zinger:

“I used to pack an extra pair of panties in case I got lucky. Now I pack an extra pair in case I sneeze.”

Afterward, she dropped to the floor pretending that she had a Kegel-induced charlie horse. If only it wasn't so funny . . .

Who Killed Bambi?

I believe this falls squarely in the "ask and ye shall receive" category.



Found at the Kickerville Long Lake gas station! And it can be yours for a mere $140.

That's all we really are is squirrels!

I'm driving up to Saranac Lake today for work and I'm hoping to see a lot of these on the way.



Gotta love Crappy Taxidermy!