Bembo's Zoo

Raining outside? Kids driving you crazy? Head over to Bembo's Zoo for a few minutes of fun. Click on any letter of the alphabet to generate an animal name whose letters quickly morph into a quirky animal image.

Check out this cuter than cute Antelope!


Makes me want to design my own font-generated Christmas cards. In my spare time, that is.

I Live in a Cave

Did you ever notice that as Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer leaves the Island of Misfit Toys, he walks out of the house in the middle of the night and forgets to close the door? It's winter and just short of the North Pole for crying out loud. Dude, your friends could die!

My friend Todd once quipped, "What's up with that Rudolph? Were you raised in a cave?" (Answer: yes.)

Anyway, I now know for a fact that I, too, live in a cave, under a rock, on a distant planet far outside the solar system because I just heard that the Foo Fighters played here last night with Supergrass. While I think the Foo Fighters have some fantabulous tunes (e.g., Everlong), I really love Supergrass. The kids really love Supergrass. We're one big happy Supergrass family. Well, maybe not the hubby.

Yes, I feel like I'm way too old to be going to shows and, yes again, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed myself, blah blah blah -- but I think I would have made an exception for this show. But I'm so out of the mix, I didn't even know it was taking place. L - l - loser!

To make it even more interesting given that we hillbillies have very little going on in these parts, apparently the entire cast of Top Chef was with them taping an episode here with the Foo(d) Fighters (sorry, couldn't help myself). They were all sighted yesterday afternoon in their white chef's coats at a local supermarket that (for some unknown reason) was NOT Wegman's but was reportedly a lesser known retailer in a small town. I can't help but wonder: were they in our very own little Mendon Meadows Market (a.k.a. M³)?

After the show, they were again sighted at the Dinosaur BBQ downtown where I could have been had I gone to the show. But, then again, probably not. Who needs to pig out (no pun intended) at that hour?

I suddenly feel the need to rewrite the lyrics to "Alright" from:

We are young, we run green,
Keep our teeth, nice and clean,
See our friends, see the sights, feel alright.

To this to better reflect my life:

We are old, we're uncool
Water the lawn, clean the pool (if we had one)
Feed our kids, kiss them goodnight, feel alright

Everybody Wants Some

Driving home from swimming off my brother-in-law's boat on Sunday, the boys and I had the following, painstaking conversation filled with the comic delivery of a six-year-old.

Me: Hey, you guys like this band. Do you know this song?

Son #1: No. Who is it?

Me: Guess.

Son #2: Poison? (No.)

Son #2: Motley Crew? (No.)

Son #2: Guns n' Roses? (No.)

Son #2: Poison? (No.) (Son #1: You just said that.)

Son #2: Motley Crew? (No.) (Son #1: You just said that, too.)

Son #2: Guns n' Roses? (No.) (We're laughing now.)

Son #1: Cheap Trick.

Me: No, but closer.

Son #2: Cheap Dick?

Me: Stop it with the dick jokes.

Son #1: Scorpions?

Me: I'll give you a hint -- it starts with the letter V.

Son #2: Vorpions?

Son #1: Van Halen!

Son #2: You mean Bad Halen.

Picky, picky. And although I'm not a huge rock n' roller, I think that song is great, no?

Wild Cat

Wow! According to Youniverse, my personality is a "wild cat." Wishful thinking? Adventurous soul, taste for the good life, unconventional. Sound like me? I'm not sure.

In short . . .

Fun = Thriller: love to be far away from everyday life, enjoy flirting, holidays should be indulgent

Habits = High Time Roller: like to get dressed up, go out, and be seen in all of the glamorous haunts (yeah, Thirsty's?)

Social = Socialite: can't imagine life without best friends

Speaking of which, off to "girls' night out" on Keuka Lake. Yea! Have a great weekend.

Just My Imagination

Yes, for all of you who have been pretending to listening to my million and one untouched awesome ideas for years, I now have a place to stick publish them: IDEASTOX.

I just put the long-running LaundryLug idea up there. We'll see if anyone else finds it even remotely compelling. Maybe someday I'll put a few more concepts up (well, at least those that haven't been executed and may still have legs so to speak).

Check it out: a hybrid of one of "my" ideas is already up there. I, of course, voted: YES!

Love this site! Can't wait to see comes of their great idea . . .

Pocket Full of Posies

I was recently asked what biblical character I identify with the most. I had never really asked myself that question before (who has?) but the answer came readily: Joseph. Not because my siblings hated me (at least to the best of my knowledge) but rather because he, to me, is the "patron saint" of the fact that no matter what bad things may happen in your life, something good can come out of them. Yet, during our most difficult times, we don't have a clear picture of the future and simply feel anguish.

In Joseph's case, after being left for dead, sold into slavery, and later imprisoned, he became the chief adviser of the Pharaoh in Egypt, advised the country to stockpile food in case of famine and, in turn, saved his family from starvation when they came seeking food. Never would have guessed that outcome when he was abandoned in a ditch, huh?

I bring this up because, a couple of weeks ago, Son #2 decided to nickname me Posie. He calls it my "stage name." Whatever. I happen think it's cute; almost as cute as "mama." (He has also taken to rubbing the sides of my tummy to make me laugh. He's adorable.)

Anyhoo, I just went to Behind the Name to read about my real name (who, by the by, was a nun/saint who was thrown in a vat of molted lead by the Moors) and randomly decided to see what Posie meant. In addition to the obvious floral reference, it's diminutive of Josephine which tracks back to the feminine form of Joseph. But of course.

Anything for a Buck

For whatever reason, this guy cracks me up.

For $1, he will think about you for a minute and send you an email. Or he'll take a picture of the sky and email it to you. For $20, he'll send you a rock from the Hudson River.

Or you can put money down (along with others) to fund many of his larger ventures. He has raised just over $200 to get his MFA and he's raised $25 to go to Taketomi (an Okinawan island) and gather star sand. He's currently seeking money to travel to South America, Newfoundland, Perth, New Haven, Los Angeles and Iceland. (So am I, for that matter!)

Thanks to the generous donations of visitors to his site, he has visited a psychic, gone to West Saugerties to find the house where Bob Dylan recorded the Basement Tapes, fed the homeless, read the Little Prince on the steps of the NYSE, and sold some of his secrets to others.

To date, he hasn't become rich off this scheme (to the best of my knowledge) but I would venture to guess that his life has become more interesting.

With that said, if anyone wants to send me money, please don't hesitate. I will most definitely attribute the source and what it funded on this enormously popular blog of mine. Big fish/small pond notoriety at its finest.

(Note: Mom, unless you recommend otherwise, your generous donations will remain under the radar screen. There are already way too many to mention but I can easily change all of that with a quick tap-tap-tap on the keyboard. Just last week, new socks, another guitar for the boys to compete with one another on Guitar Hero, free babysitting, a book called "Fit for God," a bottle of Prosecco, etc. Yet that's just the tip of the iceberg . . . )

Speaking of funding, my boss recently offered to pay for a full back tattoo if I wanted one. She specifically indicated that she wanted it to be a giant, fire breathing dragon or maybe an eagle. Given that I still don't have pierced ears, I think she made a somewhat safe bet. Won't she be surprised when she gets the bill?!