And now for a new addition to the list of things that I never thought I'd have to say:
"Don't chase your brother while he's wearing high heels."
Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
IHOP
Q: Is it strange that our son pulls his pants down, bends over, pretends his cute, little, naked butt is talking and calls said talking butt "Dr. Waffles"?
A: Not in our house. Nope, not strange at all.
A: Not in our house. Nope, not strange at all.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Got a Dyslexic Blog
Don't look now but my disappear/reappear blog post just moved up to today's slot.
Bananas.
Got a dyslexic blog. You keep swayin' -- what are you sayin'? Thinking 'bout stayin?
Bananas.
Got a dyslexic blog. You keep swayin' -- what are you sayin'? Thinking 'bout stayin?
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Death Bear
Today's NYT "Modern Love" column contained a great story about a dude named Death Bear who will come to your home (assuming you live in Brooklyn or thereabouts) and "remove painful reminders of your past and give you the chance to start fresh in 2010."
I want to be Death Bear! Imagine the strange encounters he's experiencing daily under that giant, furry suit. Anonymous. Nameless. Faceless. (Unless masks and pseudonyms count.)
Imagine the stuff he's collecting.
Imagine the book he'll be able to write.
Imagine the satisfaction he must feel helping people move on.
I want to be Death Bear! Imagine the strange encounters he's experiencing daily under that giant, furry suit. Anonymous. Nameless. Faceless. (Unless masks and pseudonyms count.)
Imagine the stuff he's collecting.
Imagine the book he'll be able to write.
Imagine the satisfaction he must feel helping people move on.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Crazy Train
Here I am, podunk girl, at my girlfriend Laura's apartment overlooking Lincoln Center and, in the distance, the Hudson River. Breathtaking.
I jumped in the subway this a.m. to be entertained by a flamboyantly gay, young, black guy who was wearing a straw cowboy hat and was serenading the train with non-stop, comedic shtick. He escorted me to a seat and insisted that I relax. He then told the woman next to me that she should remain standing because her ass was too large already. While a few people were averting their eyes, many were laughing their heads off.
Just before I exited, he made his way back to me and said, "You're very beautiful" so I responded, "Thank you very much."
He then started whooping, "Ladies and gentlemen, this woman just proved me wrong. White women do speak! You, my friend, are the first to speak to me on this train!"
All this before 9:00 a.m. Could be a long and interesting weekend.
I jumped in the subway this a.m. to be entertained by a flamboyantly gay, young, black guy who was wearing a straw cowboy hat and was serenading the train with non-stop, comedic shtick. He escorted me to a seat and insisted that I relax. He then told the woman next to me that she should remain standing because her ass was too large already. While a few people were averting their eyes, many were laughing their heads off.
Just before I exited, he made his way back to me and said, "You're very beautiful" so I responded, "Thank you very much."
He then started whooping, "Ladies and gentlemen, this woman just proved me wrong. White women do speak! You, my friend, are the first to speak to me on this train!"
All this before 9:00 a.m. Could be a long and interesting weekend.
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