Parenthetically Speaking

My girlfriends took me out on Monday night for a belated birthday dinner. I can honestly say, I have the greatest friends ever known to mankind. They're beautiful, smart, kind and funny as hell. It's one heckuva good combo. Per usual, our conversation ranged from vaginal reconstruction (a.k.a. the snatch lift) to the joy of breast exams and contained the mandatory discussion of hot men (i.e., famous and/or local).

Note #1: I have to use "and/or" in that sentence 'cause one of us scored a famous/local husband who's really easy on the eyes. (Yes, I'm talking about you, hon! And maybe just a little about John.)

Note #2: I say "no" to Robert Downey Jr.; I am completely overruled.

Anyhoo, we ventured to the Wegmans owned, newly opened Next Door Bar & Grill which is, in fact, next door to PETCO if you're keeping score. This is why their logo requires the failed logic, "across from Wegmans Pittsford" addendum. But, yet, I understand completely. Why name your restaurant something suitable (or compelling, for that matter) when you can now attract all of those customers who, while shopping for Max's biscuits, realize that they're so friggin' hungry they could devour a can of wet dog food and immediately realize, "Oh wait! Let's just go next door!" Very clever, Danny, very clever. Note to my vast readership: PETCO is also a great way to avoid valet parking if you're a) so inclined and b) in need of kitty litter. Win: win.

The restaurant itself is shockingly large inside (who knew the bowels of Rite-Aid were so vast?) and somewhat confused/confusing from a design aesthetic. In an odd, low budget tribute to Trading Spaces, the lobby contains pale wood shelving lined with fresh, green apples and the hallway to the main grill area is flanked by birch logs hanging from chains. I'm convinced that some (lazy) designer, channeling Hildi, probably made Alex, the General Manager, cut down a tree and then stay up all night turning it into "artful" decor the night before the grand opening. What a reveal that must have been for Danny, eh? I'm really hoping his expression was captured on film.

Although the main grill area was the place to see and be seen, we were hidden seated in a room to the side which was absolutely devoid of ambiance. (Placing us out of earshot was probably for the best given our topics of conversation. Prescient hostess?) My favorite topic, the cocktails (which weigh heavily in my ranking), were fabulous. One friend had a delicious Flock of Seagulls (pale blue) martini. I had a sake mojito. Yum.

The menu is great because it has both tasting dishes (to share) and full entrees (to hoard), if desired. We opted for dishes to share (i.e., the group-designed sampler platter which I love). At first blush, our waitress was extremely helpful. She did exactly what is needed: steer us away from potential disasters (apparently the fig and gorgonzola pizza is a huge miss) and direct us toward the culinary gems. One problem: the meals we ordered weren't all that spectacular. The spinach pizza was bland, the mussels and pommes frites were okay, and yet somehow the sushi was perfect. (I say that's a whole heck of a lot of overhead for a sushi joint. Shiki anyone?)

On our way out, we stopped into the bar just to check it out. While it has a nice feel and intimate seating areas with couches/chairs, it was also blasting techno/dance music. Very relaxing for a Monday night. To compound the confusion, there's another room off the back of the bar bathed in red light and disco dots. Hello Disco Stu. (And high five to the geriatric business dude who liked my dance moves. Next time I'm out partying on a school night, I'm looking for you grandpa! Game on.)

All in all, it was a great night out. Do I need to go Next Door any time soon? Nah.

Oh, and I have to include this song for Kris because I sing it every time I'm in a restaurant but I substitute Andres with Entree. Go figure. Catchy.

Sunflowers and Snow

I bought the most beautiful bouquet of flowers for my desk on Monday from Wegman's for under ten bucks. They look like they were delivered fresh from Arenas. Bright red/orange sunflowers mixed with gorgeous greens that seem to me (i.e., an un-naturalist!) to be herbs, berries and funky grasses. Just looking at this arrangement is helping me to forget that just behind me, outside my wall o' windows, lies a row of pine trees laden with snow. Snow!

The blanket of snow on the lawn between homes is so idyllic that it's hard to believe there were near white-out conditions while I was driving home through the park last night. Cars off the road due to black ice. Portions of the expressway closed.

Please remind me again: why do I live here?

Lost in the Supermarket

The folks at Trendwatching recently coined the word PERKONOMICS.

"A new breed of perks and privileges, added to brands’ regular offerings, is satisfying consumers’ ever-growing desire for novel forms of status and/or convenience, across all industries."



I love the concept in the signage above. In this case, a retailer can reward customers who behave in ways that is consistent with their brand -- even beyond the shopping experience.

When I was preggers with Son #1, for the first time ever, people began to offer me their seats on the subway and Metro North. Yep, right when the benefits of being knocked up kicked in, we moved to Northern VA. D'oh!

What I found there, however, was also pretty cool: signs in front of the best spaces in parking lots that said "Parking for Expectant Mothers." Hey, that's me! I was suffering from exhaustion and extreme cankles at the time and really appreciated the benefit (even if walking probably would have helped). Here, at the mega-Wegs in Pittsford, we have designated parking areas for parents shopping with small children. For a while there, I was loving that, too.

All of this has made me stop to think: are there ways (other than parking related) that my clients can offer non-traditional but brand-related perks to their customers? As Taco Bell reminds me, I need to start thinking outside the bun.

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On an unrelated note, did Wegmans just change their logo??

to

I'll be darned. It's definitely an improvement. Clean, less dated and more legible. But it's not grabbing me yet. Wegmans strikes me as a progressive, customer-centric, employee-friendly company; whereas, this image seems to hearken back to a bygone era. It makes me want to don an apron, vintage dress and put my hair in a beehive updo. Mind you, after saying that I wanted to be Amy Sedaris yesterday, that isn't entirely a bad thing.


(Image from AdoreVintage.com)

Maybe I can pick up the fixins for some tuna casserole.

Pimp My Cart

Last night, I ran into the Pittsford Mega-Wegs for some quick dinner items. I'm not a big grocery shopper and rarely relish the experience (again with the bad puns. must. stop.). However, yesterday I got a rare treat: somebody pimped my cart.

I'm no industrial designer but I'm guessing there was a bolt missing that keeps the basket firmly attached to the legs/wheels. As I went over the bumps on the floor -- especially the area near the cheese shop that is tiled! -- my cart undulated with style.

To add an even greater sense of the surreal to the entire encounter, Foghat's Slow Ride was playing over the store speakers. No one else seemed to find that music selection bizarre. Or at least others did not have incredulous smirks on their faces. Since when is grocery shopping supposed to whisk you back into your Dazed and Confused days of yesteryear?

But seriously, I think I'm onto the prototype cart of the future. My realization (in technical terms) is that carts don't need to be so blinking herky-jerky or unwieldy. Alas, I wish I had flagged it somehow so I could find it on my next journey into the wilds of Weggies. It made the entire experience so much smoooooother.

If there's a next time with the cart-of-my-dreams, I hope to hear Low Rider. And I'll plan to buy some Colt 45.