Lock it Up

After spending much of the weekend distilling a 290 page research report on food trends, just when I thought I was almost finished, my PowerPoint crashed. Since it happens all the time (and I've learned my lesson), I had been saving every few minutes. In this case, I only lost 5-6 slides. Other times, I haven't been so lucky.

Coincidentally, in the office mail I just received the June/July 2009 Dell business catalog with the following headline (in screaming all caps).

IT'S YOUR BUSINESS. LOCK IT UP.

Sheesh. What marketing genius thought of that?! When I think of PCs and locking up, it's never a good thing.

Worse yet, prior to my long-standing issues with Home Depot, I had Dell-related problems and solutions. By problems, I mean a laptop that crashed 6X/day. By solutions, I mean purchasing a new Dell (seriously, what was I thinking?) and, thankfully, Dell not processing the order.

Following is a portion of the letter I wrote to Dell and sent to myriad muckety mucks without a single response. Ever.

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On August 13, 2004, a co-worker ordered a Dell notebook computer on my behalf. It never arrived. In fact, seven weeks later, it still hasn’t arrived. To this date, we have never received any contact from anyone at Dell.

Please take a moment to review the following event log of my co-worker’s actions on my behalf:

• August 13: Notebook ordered online through the Dell.com small business site.
• August 13: Immediately received an “Order Acknowledgement” email.
• August 23: No computer. Called customer service. After much discussion, was told that we needed to deal with our account representative. (As e-commerce “customers,” we did not know that we had a designated account representative.)
• August 23: Was told that our account representative was not in at the moment but would respond within the day.
• August 24: Sent e-mail to the Dell Online Communications Center describing the problem (see attached).
• August 25: Received a short, but prompt, “customer care does not have access to Sales data” response (again, see attached).
• September 24: Still waiting by the phone for our account rep—but not anxiously as I have been using my new IBM ThinkPad since August 27.
  

Is it the customer’s responsibility to know that a SKU presented on your site is not valid? If your e-commerce system rejects an order that has already been acknowledged to the customer, is no one notified either internally or externally? Was no one empowered and/or incented to take action? Is it possible that no one at Dell wanted or needed our order? At the very least, would it have been difficult for someone to acknowledge that a problem had occurred? Conversely, would it be ludicrous to hope that someone might take the initiative to cross functional barriers (from customer care to sales) and proactively meet our needs? Quite simply, is there anything that could have been done to facilitate our transaction?

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So much for my non-complaining. I bring this years-old issue up because earlier this year, after five years of peace and tranquility with my IBM ThinkPad, I got a new Dell laptop that our IT vendor purchased on my behalf (against my better judgment). Well, what do you know? It keeps crashing. I've had our vendor's help desk people looking into the problems, running diagnostics, etc.

IT'S YOUR BUSINESS. LOCK IT UP.

Finally, it's a refreshing change of pace to see a tagline that is brutally honest!

Abstract Cuisinart

It's common during new product development to spend time in situe with actual users to see how the product performs in naturally occurring situations (e.g., home, work, school, street), learn what issues customers are facing and gain new insights to drive product improvements.

With that said, how is it possible that our brand new Cuisinart coffee maker has what basically amounts to invisible marks denoting the water line (which the hubby has now delineated with a green Sharpie). Now we no longer have to guess how many cups we're making but the streamlined aesthetics "for a look that is sure to enhance your countertop" have been slightly downgraded. Not that I care about how it looks but, come on, pouring water into the thing is one of the principle steps of coffee making. How can they get that basic function wrong?

Also, in less than a week, the carafe lid came out of the dishwasher this morning with slight coffee staining. Already. I'm not a polymer scientist but surely there's another resin they've tested for coffeemakers that doesn't stain, no?

Grumpy Monday?

Tested on Dermatologists

Left Coast Mom asked last week, “Does ‘Dermatologist tested’ mean ‘Tested on dermatologists, not rats’?”

Funny question but actually something I ponder from time to time when using the products in my bathroom that explicitly state, “Not tested on animals.” Er, you testing on me?

My dad was a brainiac by nature and a toxicologist by trade. He conducted tests on animals to ensure consumer products were safe. My sister and I, avowed animal lovers, grew up in a household where sick bunnies would come home (presumably to be watched over) and die. It’s truly a horrifying thought but, as my father would contend, a necessary evil.

If an unsafe product was sold to the masses, the manufacturer would face serious liability issues and dire financial consequences not to mention a long-term lack of consumer faith based on presumed ethical wrongdoing – which further translates into even greater revenue losses.

No reliable firm would risk endangering my safety, and the health of their company, with inadequate product testing. Right?

Which means to me that, “Not tested on animals” is an appealing yet empty marketing statement. The company must be relying upon previously published research conducted on animals perhaps by an independent third-party, in a university setting or even by a competitor who isn’t capitalizing on such claims.

I’m sure, somehow, my logic is flawed. It wouldn’t be the first time. If anyone wants to educate me on how to commercialize a safe consumer product without testing on animals, I’m all ears. But please don’t start by telling me that all “natural” products are safe. That I'm not buying.

Disruptive Innovations

My boss and I are working with a large, international firm to augment their product ideation and commercialization process. As a result, I have been researching and pouring through myriad best practice documents today to update our library, tools and methodology and ensure we have highly effective practices to leverage on their behalf.

While a number of the documents published contain interesting insights, many simply remind me of Dilbert.

Dogbert Consults: "To survive, you must create disruptive innovations that redefine the market."

Dilbert: "Does that mean the same thing as 'sell things that people want'?"

Which, in a round about way, reminds me of the interview that secured my internship at Xerox during grad school. The posting literally said, "Must be able to interfere across all levels of the organization" instead of "interface." If they noticed the typo at all, most students, for good reason, chose to ignore that bulleted line item. I decided to play it up. "I think you should know, I can interfere in many different areas and be as disruptive as you need."

No sense in being blinded by the obvious.