Twas the Day Before Christmas

And all through the RAC, not a treadmill was stirring . . . so, would someone please tell me why the gym is closed on Christmas Eve?

Anyhoo, before the Christmas carnage begins, highlights of my soon-to-be-a-distant-memory birthday include:

1. A cannot-stop-shoving-food-in-my-mouth-because-it's-so-good meal that my brother-in-law made complete with tenderloin that could melt in your mouth
2. Awesome presents from gorgeous sweaters to a trendy salsa/chips bowl, from iDogs to iPods, from wine to kahlua, and from furry purses to giant, fluffy pillows -- once again, spoiled rotten -- and one donation made in my name to the Smile Train which somehow tempers the greed a little and, for which, I am grateful
   
3. A fun-filled dinner at Tastings with my girlfriends where I had a beautiful and delicious (red and rimmed with gold sugar) fruitcake martini: two things that remind me of my Uncle Ed who I love and two things that, when mixed, prove that the whole can be greater than the sum of its parts
4. A birthday card that addressed the manly "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" question with its feminist counterpoint, "why buy the pig when you just need a little sausage?"
5. Getting my Christmas bonus . . . ahhhhhhhhhhhh
   
6. Leaving work on time for two whole days in a row; OMG, 44 is empowering! I feel like Oh Mighty Isis. What's next? Commanding the forces of nature?
   

Your Vote Counts

Apparently Obama went from a 70:30 favorite a few weeks ago to dead even in the Intrade prediction markets. This is likely more credible than my qualitative analysis with supplemental Facebook statistics. D'oh!



In tribute to the woman, the myth, the legend (and since a Sarah Palindrome is boring), I thought I would give you some Sarahnagrams instead.

HA IRAN SLAP
AH LIAR SNAP

And my favorite: I A RASH PLAN

I Dare You to Vote for Me!

According to Political Calculations, it's time for me to "Fire up the spin machine, you're ready to kick off your campaign this week! It's time to start courting donations from lobbyists and to put underlings to work deciding what you believe!"

Actually, this site calculates my "qualifications" based not on my experience in office (or lack thereof) but rather on whether or not I've ever toured with a rock band which I have not -- yet. Oddly enough, it doesn't ask race, gender or whether or not I'm a total babe. It's also more focused on my current bio. Holding all values equal, I'm still qualified for office if I am married with two sexual partners vs. in a relationship with only one. Yee haw! As I said to my brother, this doesn't account for my millions of past affairs or the fact that I'm one step away from rehab next week. As long as I'm clean and perceived to be sober today, all's well.

Not to mention that I can strangle moose barehanded . . .