Summertime and the livin' is easy

Spent the weekend on the party circuit with the kids.

At my girlfriend’s daughter’s high school graduation/18^th birthday party, I got to spend time with the “kids” I grew up with which is one of the best gifts of living in my hometown again. Sallie’s gorgeous house sits uphill from a big pond that she swims in almost daily but, judging by the size and number of koi visible from just standing on the dock, I would be totally freaked out. Pool or pond? Pond would be good for her; pool for me!

Just beyond her white picket fence, lies a large field in which thousands of fireflies were sparkling that night. It felt like the scene from a Disney film. I only wish that I had brought my camera. Can you capture that kind of magic on film?

The following night, we went to the first birthday party for the little girl next door. The fete, which was more elaborate than many wedding receptions, was held at her grandparents’ house. Their back yard was larger than my entire neighborhood and was so park-like that it could have been designed by Fredrick Law Olmstead and I wouldn’t have been surprised. The meal was fully catered and the tent decorated throughout with balloons and giant lollipops covered in multi-colored cellophane wrappers. There were tables literally overflowing with candy (e.g., Pixie Stix, Tootsie Rolls, Smarties) and toys (e.g., snakes, beach balls, tattoos) for the kids to fill their monogrammed take-home bags.

The boys had a blast swimming with the other children while the neighborhood parents and I sat poolside sipping margaritas. It was the perfect night.

After Cold Stone Creamery came with their marble slabs and dished out ice cream for everyone, the proud mom cut the wedding, I mean birthday, cake. It was a three-tiered confection with pink, purple and white marzipan stripes and dots. The entire top layer was then given to the birthday girl for her to stick her fingers in and devour.

My only gripe: where were the pony rides? Cutting corners?!

Just kidding, of course. They're probably next year.

Mrs. Clooney

OMG!

• You will marry George Clooney.

• After a wild honeymoon, you will settle down in Cape Hatteras in your fabulous Apartment.

• You will have 7 kid(s) together.

• The family will zoom around in a Red Jeep Liberty.

• You will spend your days as a Writer, and live happily ever after.
  

As much as this sounds awesome (!), who has an apartment in Cape Hatteras? Shouldn't it be a beach house on stilts?

Alas, Paul Rudd, John Cusack and Jon Stewart all opted out of my future but I'm still worried, even thought it says that we will "live happily ever after," that George won't be content. The MASH game can't be wrong, can it?

Speaking of which, seven kids at my age? Does George already have five kids that I don't know about? Will they all fit in that little car? Or the apartment for that matter?

Come to think of it, amazing beach views and George Clooney aside, I'm not even sure I'll be happy! I hope Georgie springs for a nanny.

Positive Feedback

While researching the topic of feedback for a leadership seminar I was developing a couple of years ago, I came upon the following study.

Dr. Daniel Kirschenbaum, a sports psychologist at the University of Wisconsin, videotaped groups of bowlers. He then edited the tapes, creating two different versions. In one version, he deleted any examples of poor bowling performance, leaving only images of proper bowling techniques. In the second version of the tape, he deleted any examples of good performance, leaving only images of poor bowling style.

He then used the tapes to give lessons to the same groups of bowlers.

Some groups viewed the edited tape showing only examples of proper bowling techniques. The lessons emphasized repeating what had worked for them. Other groups viewed an edited tape, seeing only examples of poor bowling. Their lessons focused on not repeating prior mistakes.

Those bowlers who viewed examples of proper bowling techniques showed as much as 100% improvement in bowling scores, far more than the other group.

Key learning: We learn better, and are able to improve task performance, when we focus on our successes rather than our mistakes -- which oftentimes can be seen as “at odds” with traditional management techniques found in corporate America where managers see themselves as problem-solvers whose job is to fix what's broken.

This has never been so apparent to me as it has been over the past few weeks as I watched both sons playing Little League. At an age where most kids are just attempting the sport for the first time, it was shocking at times to hear the coaches (thankfully from the opposing teams) yelling at and berating the kids.

Son #1's coach was, in direct contrast, a saint. He made the game so much fun for all of his players and complimented them continually -- even after failed plays. "Nice try." "Great throw; next time aim just a little higher!"

As a result, this group of first and second graders was literally on fire toward the end of the season making double and triple plays and slamming balls to the outfield. Many of the rival teams could barely compete at that level.

Last night, after the last game of the season, the coach bought ice cream for all of the players. And instead of simply handing out their trophies, he made a point of recapping the best plays of the season for each. Their faces were beaming. I was impressed and felt blessed that my son was a part of his team.

(Source: Jay R. Tombaugh, “Positive leadership yields performance and profitability,” Development and Learning in Organizations: Volume 19 Number 3 2005, pp. 15-17)

Nothing Seems Right in Cars

Here's hoping that today fares a bit better than yesterday . . .



There's nothing more thrilling than your coolant light flashing and smoke coming from your hood when you're driving home from Buffalo on the NYS Thruway.

Towing Jetta to dealership: $160
Repairing car: I shudder to think
Missing kids' last day of school: priceless

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard.

You Spin Me Right Round Baby

This video from LiveLeak came with a note from the hubby, "This looks like something that you would do."

Blasphemous Rumours

I spent Friday night and Saturday at a church-sponsored prayer retreat on Canandaigua Lake. And it was fun. FUN. Yes, you read that right. Who knew? As Depeche Mode contends, does God have a sick sense of humor?

There were times when I was laughing so hard, with people I had only met that day, that the tears were rolling down my face. There were other moments spent in candlelit, guided meditation when God was so close that I felt he was hugging me.

And there was time spent in the sunshine just sitting on the dock with a close friend.

We had a bonfire on Friday night and watched the lightening light up the sky. (A Friday night without wine I may add!) And first thing on Saturday morning, after a walk along the road admiring all of the beautiful lake-front cottages, I forced myself into the water. It was ice cold and took my breath away. But I stayed in and swam for a while simply because I could. And I floated for minutes afterward letting the water support me.

Later that morning, in a "how befitting" fashion, our group meditation was on how Peter walked on water toward Jesus and then, when he turned his attention instead toward the wind and the waves and became fearful, he began to sink. Jesus held him until they reached the boat and said, "O ye of little faith." Until then, I had always thought that phrase was condemning. I now see how it was said in love and tenderness. Jesus didn't calm the storm; he just fully supported him in his walk. It was up to Peter to take the chance and step out -- something many of us aren't willing to do. Sure, he couldn't sustain his faith 100% of the time but he still knew who to call out to when he was failing.

We're a Happy Family

I just received a tongue-in-cheek email from my sis that had "out of office" replies such as "I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position" and "I have run away to join a different circus."

It reminded me of a little gem that was actually distributed at my old company and was entitled, "99 Things to Say to Create a Happy Department." The quotes are so motivating that I thought I would share some of them in order to help those of you who may be facing employee morale issues of your own. Some golden nuggets that you might want to try on for size include:

• That's not half bad!
  
• You've got your brain in gear today
• Well look at you go
• That kind of work makes me happy
• You must have been practicing
  
• I knew you could do it
• You're really going to town
• You're moving at Internet speed
• You're doing that much better today
• You did it that time!
• You did a lot of work today
• Congratulations! You got it right!
  

And my favorite: "That's a good (boy/girl)" -- which, I think, should be immediately followed by "rollover," "who wants a biscuit?" or "wanna go walkies?"

Too farcical to be true? I wish. However, I just Googled the author, Arzella Dirksen, and found a copy online (sans comic illustrations of smiling people in business suits). Maybe I'll send Arzella my resume. I need some one to remind me of how super I am.